Changes
by DevilsDelusionalMistress
Summary: Lily has grown up around the club, being best friends with Jax Teller will do that to you. She has always kept him at arms length bit with the new addition of baby Able and threats to the club, things may be changing for everyone
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! This is just something new I am playing with. I wrote it on my phone so please excuse any errors and the way my phone formats things.

As always, let me know what you guys think!

DDM~

I tapped my foot impatiently as the elevator carried me to the upper floor of the hospital. The doors barley opened before I was hurrying down the hall, boots clicking on the tile floor on my way to the waiting room. I turned the corner and caught sight of the guys all gathered, pacing and sitting in horrible little plastic chairs.

The only woman in the room saw me first and hurried forward to greet me.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Stupid gash, she OD'd. Jax asked me to go check on her because he hadn't gotten a doctor bill from her. I found her laying on the kitchen floor." Gemar scowled.

"Oh my god." I shook my head in disbelief. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and I looked up into the face of my handsome, blond best friend. He looked pale, a mixture of worry and anger making his features sharper.

"Is the baby ok?" I asked.

"He is premature, obviously, has a tear in his abdomen , and he has the 'Family Flaw'. Jax said, sighing and leaning his forehead against the top of my head. Even in heels he was taller than me.

"When do they operate?"

"As soon as they get him stable enough. He will be in the incubator for quite a while afterwards so they can monitor him." Gema said when it was clear Jax wasn't ready to come out of my hair.

"Who is operating? Which doctor?"

"That's part of the kicker," Gema grumbled. "One of them is..."

The sound of someone clearing their throat caught everyone's attention. I turned and felt my eyes go wide. Standing in the door, dressed in scrubs, was a dark haired woman with sharp but pretty facial features, holding clip board.

"Tara." I said stunned, I hadn't realized she was back in town.

She gave me a strained smile and Jax finally pulled back from his hiding place, arm tightening around my waist.

"You are going to help him?" I asked.

"Yes." She nodded, "I just have a few forms that need to be signed." She indicated the clipboard she was holding. Jax finally let go of me and took the papers and pen from the doctor. Skimming over the papers he began to scribble. I turned back to Gema.

"How is Wendy?" I asked. I never liked her and she has always hated me, but I didn't wish her harm.

"She is still sedated." Tara answered from behind me. I turned to look at her again. She was frowning at me, another woman who wasn't my biggest fan. Like Wendy and every other Crow Eater who was obsessed with Jax, Tara had always been suspicious of our friendship and often accused Jax of cheating with me while they were dating. People had a hard time believing that he and I were just really good friends.

"You can go see her in a while if you want. She will probably need the company. She is in room 209." She said as she took the papers back from Jax who was still quiet.

"The surgery will take a few hours. Like I said earlier, the surgeon wants to fix his abdomen then, if he is stable enough, we will repair his heart. You can go home if you want, we will call you."

"We'll stay." Gema said simply. Tara frowned at Gem but nodded and turned to leave. Jax came back over to me while Gema left the room in the direction the doctor had gone.

I reached up and took Jax's face in my hands.

"He will be fine." I said firmly. "He is a Teller."

He gave me a small smile before taking my hand and pulling me over to a set of awful chairs.

"The kid will be tough." Tig said as I took the seat next to him.

"Of course he will be." I said. The others around the room nodded. Jax leaned forward and hung his head, hands hanging between his knees. I rubbed his back, the muscles feeling tense beneath my fingers.

"Do you want to go see Wendy?" I asked. He glanced at me with a scowl and I took that as a 'no'.

"I am going to stop by on my way to the cafeteria. I need a drink." I said as I stood. I got only 2 steps before Jax reached out to grab my hand.

I smiled sadly at him as he looked up at me with a lost look in his bright blue eyes.

"I'll be back." I promised.

It took him a few seconds of staring up at me before he nodded and let go of my hand. I left him sitting with the guys as I made my way back down the hall. Wendy's room was on the other side of the floor from the waiting room. I paused at the window and watched Wendy lay in the bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

I knocked gently on the door and her head snapped up to look at me. She frowned when she saw who was disturbing her but I walked in anyway. I sat down in the chair next to her bed.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her.

"Why?" She snapped at me. "Here to gloat?"

"Why would I do that?" I asked, confused.

"I know you hate me." She said. "Everyone does."

"I don't hate you." I said shrugging. " I don't understand you, but I don't hate you."

She finally looked at me, her pretty face looked so drawn.

"How is Jax doing?" She asked finally. "Is he going to come see me?"

"I don't think he is ready for that yet." I said. "I think he just wants to focus on Abel for right now. They are doing his surgery now."

"Of course you would know what he wants." She spat at me.

"Don't start." I said firmly. "I wanted to see how you were doing, not fight with you. I know you are detoxing so I am not even going to bother going through this again. We've been over it again and again and you are just beating a dead horse at this point."

She scowled at me again.

"You ruined my marriage." She seethed.

I stood up.

"Enough," i said snapped. "Jax and I are just friends, i did not have anything to do with your marriage failing. Your love of crank is what killed your marriage, just like it might kill your son." She flinched as if I had physically struck her. "Try taking some responsibility for your actions and stop blaming everyone else for your poor choices."

She glared at me with tears in her eyes

"Since you have enough energy to pick fights, I will assume that you are feeling better." I turned and headed to the door.

"Can you ask Jax to come see me?" She asked, voice tilting towards a whine.

"You wanted to be nasty and now you want to ask for favors?" I asked as I stopped in the doorway. "Detoxing must be doing a number on your brain."

"Please, Lilly. He listens to you."

"I will ask, but I can't work miracles." I said simply as I left the room and headed toward the cafeteria.


	2. Chapter 2

I am so happy that you guys seem to like this story! I am having a lot of fun writing it. This story will loosely follow season 1, events may be a little warped and twisted to fit into the structure of this but I hope you guys continue to enjoy it. I am feeling inspired so this chapter is a little longer than the first!

Let me know if you guys have any ideas on how you would be interested in things playing out, I've got a vague idea of where I want this to go but it's still developing.

As always, let me know what you guys think!

DDM

Bad coffee in hand, I wondered my way back up to the waiting room. A few of the guys were gone, probably back to the garage, leaving Tig, Chibs, Jax and Gema sitting in the awful chairs. I sat down between Jax and Tig again and sipped what passed for coffee in this place. I wasn't a big coffee drinker but sometimes it's just needed.

"How is she?" Jax asked. I handed him the cup of coffee and he took a drink, disgust wrinkled his nose and I laughed as he gave the cup back to me.

"She is detoxing, trying to pick fights and blaming other people for her issues." I shrugged.

"What's she picking fights with you over?" He asked.

"Same thing she always goes to." I rolled my eyes.

"Stupid gash." Gema snapped from Jax's other side.

"She still won't take any responsibility for your marriage going south, somehow it's still my fault." I passed the cup on to Tig who tossed it in the trash beside him, it wasn't really worth drinking.

"She still won't let that go." Jax sighed.

"Nope." I shrugged. "She asked me to ask you to go see her." I added.

"No." He said simply.

"She is detoxing." I said.

"It won't last." He said sharply. "They will put her in a program, she will get clean, then she will get out and go right back to it."

"I told her I couldn't work miracles, but that I would ask." I yawned, even the caffeine from the coffee couldn't perk me up.

"Tired?" Gema asked.

"I was up all night scanning in the newest order of books and getting them tagged and categorized." I leaned my head on Jax's shoulder and closed me eyes.

"Take a nap, baby. I'll wake you when the Doc comes back." Jax said, leaning his head against mine. I nodded and let myself relax, drifting off quickly.

When I finally woke, it was slow, my brain foggy but picking up words of the people around me.

"So, you two are finally together?" I think that's Tara's voice. "I figured you would be."

"Tara," Jax sounded tired.

"You can go see him now." She said and the sound of retreating steps echoed in the room.

"Baby, time to get up." Jax spoke against my temple.

I opened my eyes and yawned as I sat up. Gema was gone but Tig and Chibs were both asleep in chairs.

"Where is your mom?" I asked as I stood up and stretched.

"She went to see Wendy." He shrugged.

"God help her." I shook my head. "We can go see him now?"

"Yeah, Tara said he is ready."

"I must have been more tired than I thought if I slept the whole time he was in." In yawned.

"Must have needed it." He said.

I nodded and went over to poke Tig and Chibs awake.

"Time to go see Abel." I said when they opened their eyes. The both shot out of their chairs. As a group we walked down the hall, people moving out of our way as we went. We reached the room and looked through the observation window.

Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at the tiny little body in the incubator.

"He's so tiny." I whispered, trying not to cry. I heard heels on linoleum and turned to see Gemma, Clay and Bobby coming towards us.

"Jesus." Gemma said as she looked through the window. "That fucking bitch."

"Have you found out anything?" Jax asked Bobby.

"Found a match book at the house, Nords are dealing out of a bar." He scowled.

I watched as darkness overtook Jax's face. His shoulders got tense and his fists clenched. He turned, kissed me on the forehead then started off down the hall.

"Jax!" I called worried.

"Stay with the kid." He said angrily.

"Bobby, Chibs, watch his back." Clay ordered. The Sons nodded and followed in Jax's angry wake.

"He'll be fine." Clay said firmly and I sighed but nodded. I reached over and took Gemma's hand as we looked through the window.

"Ready?" I asked. She took a deep breath and nodded. I pushed open the door and we went in, leaving Clay and Tig outside to talk club business. We stood next to the incubator and I couldn't hold the tears anymore as I stared down at the defenseless little being before me. He had such a rough start but his fight had only just begun. I sniffled and Gema wrapped her arm around my waist and I leaned on her.

"How could she do this?" I asked through my tears.

"She is a selfish whore." Gema said simply. "She is in her room with a fucking bible, saying she has seen the light and is asking God for forgiveness."

"I tired talking to her," I said. "She just wanted to be nasty. She said that I hated her, but I told her I didn't. That I didn't understand her, but that didn't mean that I hated her. Looking at him now, I think I have changed my mind."

"She doesn't even deserve your hate, baby girl. She isn't worth the thought or emotion. I told her, no matter what, saved or not, Able will never call her Mama." Gem said firmly.

"He deserves better." I nodded.

"And he has better." She said squeezing my waist.

A throat cleared behind us and we both looked to see Tara standing there. I turned back to Abel quickly and dried my face on my sleeve.

"I am just here to check on him." She said stiffly. Gema scoffed at her, gave me one last squeeze then strutted from the room, glaring at Tara the whole way, to go stand beside Clay.

Tara came up beside me and began checking the machines around the incubator.

"Thank you, Tara." I said softly.

"He's strong." She said. "Not out of the woods yet, but he is a fighter."

"He's a Teller." I said with a small smile as I looked down at the baby.

"Are you?" She asked suddenly.

"Am I what?" I asked, confused.

"Are you a Teller?" She asked, frowning at me when met her dark eyes with my bright green ones.

"No." I shook my head. "I am not a Teller."

"But you will be." She said.

"Why makes you think that?" I asked.

"I saw the way he looks at you, the way he always has to be touching you. It's classic Jax."

"He has always been like that," I shrugged. "He is tactile, you know that."

"How long have you two been together?" She asked. "Did you at least wait until his divorce was finalized?"

"Tara," I said, exasperated. "Jax and I are not together. We are just friends, just like we have always been."

She gave me a skeptical look.

"You didn't get together?"

"No." I said firmly. "And since I can already see where your mind is going, I will tell you now, I have never, and I mean never, slept with Jackson Teller."

"Ever?"

"Ever." I said firmly. "He and I are friends. Our friendship has lasted because I drew that hard line in the sand a long time ago. He has girlfriends, crow eaters and even wives, but I am not any of those things, I am his friend. That is the last time I will say it."

She nodded but still didn't look convinced. I rolled my eyes and looked back down at Abel. He really was so tiny.

"Lilly?" I looked up, Gema gestured for me to follow her. I gave the baby one last look before turning to follow her, not looking at Tara as I left.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you thank Everyone that left me a review! They made me so happy and helped me stay motivated to keep going!

To answer most of you, this will Not be a Jax/Tara story! From season 1 I have always disliked her! This will be a Jax/OC. I am having a lot of fun writing this and I am so glad that you guys are enjoying it! This is the longest chapter yet!

Enough rambling! Here is the next chapter!

DDM

"What's wrong?" I asked as Gema lead me into the hospital chapel.

"What did they bitch want?" She asked.

"To ask me if Jax and I were together. She wanted to know if I was a Teller yet or not and to beat the dead horse that carries around her idea that I slept with him while they were together."

"She is going to try and crawl her way back into his life." She scowled.

"God help us all." I shook my head. "He has come a long way but he will regress to irritating high school Jax if he gets back with her."

"She can sleep with him but she is in for a rude awakening if she thinks she can be his Old Lady again."

"He will probably let her." I said simply.

"That spot is already filled." Gema said firmly, looking me right in the eye.

"Gema," I sighed.

"You two may not label yourselves as a couple but I know an Old Lady when I see one. He talks to you about club business."

"He bounces ideas off me." I dismissed.

"You usually know as much as I know, that's called Full Disclosure, sweetheart." She crosses her arms, a typical stance for her when she knew she was about to start an argument. "You are the first person he calls when he has to leave town, the first person he goes to see when he gets back. Clay says he even calls you while he is on runs."

"Gema..." I tried again.

"When he is having a hard time and needs to get his head on straight, he goes to your house, sometimes stays for a few days. You help me with parties and managing the girls. They look to you for instruction and the guys respect the hell out of you."

"Gema, stop!" I said firmly.

"And you are not afraid of me." She said smugly. "No one else would dare talk to me like that. You are Old Lady material and you already handle Old Lady responsibilities."

"I am not Jax's Old Lady." I said firmly. "I am his friend."

"How long do you think that is going to hold now that there is a baby involved?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You know full well you will be spending time with that baby, helping me take care of him. Hell, you may have him more than me." She said with a grin. "How long are you going to be able to keep insisting you are just his friend while holding his baby. How long will he keep respecting the boundaries you put up when he sees you with his child? Hmm?"

"That's not..." I fumbled on my words.

"He is not going to be able to help himself. You are already a great Old Lady, once he sees you in Mom Mode, he is going to see that you are damn near perfect. I know my son, the campaign to mark you with his Crow will start soon." She just looked so pleased with herself.

"No." I said simply, crossing my own arms this time.

"Why the fuck not?" She demanded.

"Because I know him to." I said. "I saw the way he looked at Tara and the way she looked at him. There are still feelings there, ones neither of them are ready to let go. I will not be one of those women who fawn over him just because he is VP, and I will not be like Wendy, content with him sleeping with other women as long as he comes home to her at the end of the day. When I am with someone, it's all or nothing. Having feelings for Tara isn't going to fly with me. He can't give me what I want in a romantic relationship, therefore, friends."

Gema scowled at me.

"That bitch may be his high school sweetheart, but you are the love of his life. You are the longest female relationship he has ever had and Tara doesn't hold a candle to you, that is why she is threatened." She started tapping her foot.

Before I could respond my phone went off in my pocket. Fishing it out I saw it was Mindy, my fellow librarian.

"Hey." I answered, giving Gema a sour look, knowing she wouldn't leave our conversation alone for long.

"Hey, could you come back in?" Mindy sounded almost panicked.

"What's wrong?"

"I am missing several boxes and I can't find them anywhere." She said.

"I am on my way." I promised. We said goodbye and I put the phone back in my pocket.

"I have to go." I told Gema. "This new order is going to be the death of me."

"This conversation isn't over." She said as she followed me out of the chapel.

"It is for now." I said firmly. "Go spend time with the baby, I will see you later."

"Fine, I will call you later." She said as she kissed me on the cheek.

"Sounds good."

We parted ways in the hall. The woman could be exhausting and she was more stubborn than a hundred mules. She wouldn't rest until she got what she wanted, sadly for her, I could be just a stubborn when I wanted to be. I told her the truth when I said that Jax can't give me what I would want out of a relationship. I just shook my head as I reached into my purse and pulled out my sunglasses.

Time to go solve a Library crisis.

Who knew it would take hours to find 3 rouge boxes. The library isn't even that big, but the boxes turned up in the basement in a corner. I felt suspicious that the new librarian, Deb, had hid them on purpose. I hadn't liked her during her interview, she had an attitude problem and saw what we did as beneath her. But Mindy's bleeding heart had won in the end and I had agreed to give the new woman a try. I was already regretting it.

I usually take the lead as head librarian , even though Mindy has been there longer, and Deb seems to resent me for it somehow. I think it's mostly because she can't manipulate me like she does my friend. She is also part of the few in Charming that don't like the Club. Some of the guys have come looking for me a few times while she is here and she always lets me know by informing me that 'Those People' were here to see me.

Shaking my head, I pulled into my driveway, ready for a nice long shower to get all the dust from the basement off my skin and out of my hair.

I unlocked my front door and paused as the sound of a bike got closer and closer. I looked over my shoulder to see Jax pulling into my driveway. I sighed as I went inside, leaving the door open as I made my way to the kitchen. I heard the door shut as I pulled a beer out of the fridge and opened the drawer beside the sink to get a bottle opener. I handed the beer to Jax as I passed him, going down the hall to my room.

"You ok?" He asked from my bedroom door as I gathered a set of shorts and a tank to take into the bathroom with me.

"It's been a long day." I said, turning to see him sipping his beer and leaning against the door frame.

"Yeah it has."

"Let me take a shower," I said. "Then you can fill me in on how the rest of your day went."

He nodded and turned to go back down the hall. I was so happy to climb under the warm spray of my shower, letting it wash away the stress of the day. It was over before I wanted it to be but I felt better when I stepped out of the steamy bathroom, patting my hair with a towel. I grabbed my brush from my room then went to find the other occupant of my house.

I found him laying on my couch, bottle dangling from his fingers off the side of the cushion, his other arm thrown over his eyes.

I climbed on the couch, sitting sideways, my legs draped over his much longer ones.

"Where did you go when you left the hospital?" I asked as I pulled the brush through my hair.

"Went to that bar the Nords are dealing out of." He shrugged, peaking at me from under his arm.

"Are they still alive?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, won't be making any more little Nords though." He smirked.

"Good," I nodded. "That's not all that's wrong though, I can see it."

He sighed, letting the arm across his eyes settle on his chest, staring up at the ceiling.

"You heard about the explosion yesterday?" He asked.

"I didn't need to hear about it, i heard it." I said.

"Yeah well, it was our assembly warehouse for the guns."

"Oh no." I frowned. "What happened? Did you lose everything?"

"Fucking Mayans, stole the Niners guns and torched the place, blew it all to hell."

"Didn't they already pay for those guns?" I asked, worried.

"Yeah, that's not even the kicker though." He grumbled. "There were a couple of our undocumented workers in the place when they blew it, fried them under the floor."

"Oh my god!" I covered my mouth.

"That location is dead, Captain America is all over our assess and a forensic team from out of town is coming to look it over day after tomorrow according to our guy."

"Why from out of town?" I asked, putting my brush down.

"Hale doesn't trust the people here."

"So he called in outsiders."

"Yeah."

"What are you going to do?"

"We have no idea."

"Can't you distract them or something?" I asked, starting to braid my damp hair.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, if the people are from out of town, their own town takes priority. If something happens on their turf, they will have to focus on that, might buy you a couple of days."

I jumped when he sat bolt up right, staring at me.

"What?" I asked. He pulled his legs out from under me and got to his feet, just looking at me with a huge grin. He leaned down and shocked me when he pressed his lips against mine.

"You are a genius." He said before kissing me again. I just sat there shocked by the gesture, it was different from the usual kisses on the head that is usually got. When he stood straight he was already pulling out his phone.

"Hey, tell the guys I am calling Church." He said into his phone.

"Why? Because my girl is a fucking genius, that's why." He said animatedly, throwing me a wink. "Great, I'll be there in 10."

He closed the phone and turned to beam at me again. When he leaned in a third time, I put a hand against his chest to keep some distance between us. We just stared at each other for a moment before he push forward and pecked me on the lips, lingering long enough for me to put pressure on his chest again in a silent bid for distance.

"I'll see you later, probably not tonight, but definitely tomorrow." He said as he went over to the front door." He paused with the door open and looked at me over his shoulder. "Come lock this."

I stood and did as I was told after he closed the door behind him. I know having the Mayans in Charming made him edgy. My mind kept going back to his kissing me and I shook my head.

That's not good.

I decided today needed to be over and began turning all the lights off as I went to my room. I climbed into my bed and lay in the dark, focusing on my breathing in order to turn my brain off.

In...out...in...out...in...out


	4. Chapter 4

Another chapter! Thank you to everyone who has shown interest in this story! It's always exciting when other people enjoy what your mind cooks up!

Special thanks to all of you who heave left me reviews! You guys are giving me the inspiration to keep going with this idea! I love you guys!

As always, enjoy and let me know what you think!

DDM

I sat on my counter drinking coffee the next morning, enjoying the early morning quiet before my day truly began. I was on my second cup when my phone disrupted my quiet.

"Hey, Gema. What's up?" I asked as I slid the call open.

"Hey, could you come over to Jax's place and give me a hand, I want to try and clean it up."

"Sure, I don't have to go in today unless Deb screws something up." I said, hopping off the counter.

"Problems with the new girl?" She asked.

"Ugh," I groaned as I entered my room.

"You can tell me about it when I see you."

"Alright, let me get dressed and I will meet you over there."

"See you soon."

We hung up and I walked into my closet, grabbing black skinny jeans and a black cold shoulder top. I pulled on my favorite pair of comfy red converse and snagged a hair tie off my dresser as I left, throwing my hair up in a messy bun on my way to the kitchen. I knew Gema would bring cleaning supplies but who knew what that house looked like so bring extras can't hurt. I filled the bucket I kept under the sink, lugging it all out to my car.

When I pulled up to the house, Gema was already standing outside, trash bag in hand, picking up old news papers.

"Hey baby girl." She kissed me on the cheek when I hugged her.

"Hey." I smiled. "Any idea what the inside looks like?"

"Not a clue, but from what I could see through the windows, it's not pretty."

"Should have brought the hazmat suits."

"Might need them." She laughed.

"If it looks like to much we can always have the prospect come over and give us a hand." I said.

She smirked at me but I chose to ignore it as I went to the front door. Without thinking, I pulled my keys from my back pocket and unlocked the door.

"You still have keys?" Gema asked, I looked over my shoulder to see the smirk still firmly in place.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "He gave me a set when he bought the place."

I pushed open the door and stepped inside, flicking on the light.

"Good god..." I looked around and the totally trashed living room.

"Jesus." Gema said as I stepped aside to let her in.

Empty pizza boxes and various take out containers were littered everywhere. The newspaper that had been brought in were torn apart and scattered all over the room as well as dirty laundry and random piles of house hold trash. I carefully picked my way through the living room toward the kitchen.

It was equally destroyed.

Trashed was all over the place, dirty dishes piled on the counter and table. Half eaten tubs of ice cream were melted, oozing into the floor. Cigarette butts were absolutely everywhere, marks on the kitchen table showing they had been used to stub them out. Burnt spoons and needles were also on the table.

I shook my head sadly as I went to find Gema.

"Gema?" I called as I got back to the living room

"Down here!" He voice came from the hall leading to the bedrooms. I looked into what was the main bedroom only to see it was in the same state as the rest of the house. Only the bed was clear of debris, the side table was home to empty packs of cigarettes and used needles. I kept going to the second bedroom, the one always meant for the baby. I paused before looking in, taking a deep breath and prepared myself for the worst.

I poked my head around the door frame and signed in relief. This room, at least, appeared basically untouched. I walked in the stand beside Gema in the center of the room. It was still painted a pretty light blue that I had helped Jax pick out, half built furniture we had picked up lay where they had been left.

"At least she has the decency to leave this room alone." I said.

"I doubt it was decency that kept her out of here." Gema scowled. "More like she probably didn't want to look at the room meant for the life she was slowly poisoning inside her."

I signed sadly.

"Come on, lets start with the living room and work our way out from there." I suggested.

"Sound like as good a plan as any." She agreed and we have our way back to the living room. "This is disgusting."

"I don't understand how one person could make such a mess." I said as i went outside to grab my bucket. Thankfully I had packed some thick yellow gloves and I handed Gema a pair when I came back in with my supplies.

"Thanks, baby girl." She pulled them on.

"Who knows what's under all this trash and we don't want to get stuck with any of those fucking needles." I said.

With heavy hearts we began to gather all of the trash, finding filthy carpeting and stained furniture beneath it.

"Tell me what going on with your new girl." Gema said as I tied off the sixth trash bag.

"Deb," I scowled. "She has a horrible attitude problem, thinks what we do is beneath her. I am pretty sure she has been deliberately sabotaging the orders that we have been getting in."

"Why?"

We made our way into the kitchen.

"Probably because we were able to afford the orders thanks to the fundraiser you held for us." I shook my head.

"Why would it matter how you got the money?"

"She is against the club." I said shrugging as I picked up the ice cream containers and shoved them in a bag. "When the guys come to see me she calls them 'Those people'. I think, if I remember it right, she is a cousin of Deputy Hale."

"Why did you hire her if you dislike her so much and she is against the club?" Gema frowned. Anyone against the club was an instant black mark in her book.

"Mindy's damn bleeding heart." I huffed. "She gave is a sob story about not wanting to lose her house and needing the money. I have regretted it every day. She has the worst work ethic I have ever encountered and she has problems doing what she is told to do, especially if I am the one telling her to do it."

"Hale ever come around the library?" She asked.

"Not very often, why?" I watched as she carefully picked up some empty needles and put them in an empty beer bottle before they went into the trash bag she was holding.

"That man has a huge thing for you." She said. "That's part of the reason he hates Jax so much."

"He does not." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Oh please," she laughed. "That man sniffs around you like a horny teenager."

"Gema!" I laughed. "He does not! I hardly see the man and when I do he is only being polite."

"Captain America will politely help you out of your clothes any time you want!" She continued to laugh and I shook my head.

"I am not interested in him. He is nice but he hates the club, we have nothing in common."

"He'll be taking over for Unser soon."

"Have you talked to him? How is he feeling?"

"Saw him the other day, sitting outside the hospital smoking an joint."

"I don't doubt it," I grinned. "For the cancer, of course."

"Of course." She smirked back at me.

I looked around the kitchen. The trash was all picked up, a mountain of black bags stacked off to the side. I didn't even want to look at the pile of dishes yet.

"Jesus," I sighed. "We haven Mount Trashmore in here and the living room. We haven't even touched the rest of this place."

"I think we are good for right now, I need a smoke anyway."

I sat down in a chair by the cleared off table and pulled an empty ash tray toward me as Gema returned from getting her pack out of her purse. I watched as she lit the cigarette and let out a sigh, smoke released from between her lips. She didn't bother offering me one, knowing by now that I wasn't interested in her cancer stick.

"When Able gets Home you and Jax will have to become well aquatinted with the back porch." I said, leaning my elbow on the table.

"Hm?" She took another drag.

"You both like to smoke in the house, can't do that with the baby." I said firmly.

She smirked at me again.

"Whatever you say, Mama." She chucked. I just rolled my eyes.

My phone buzzed and I glanced down at the text message, seeing it was from Jax, I slid the phone open to read it.

"What does he want?" Gema asked as she blew out more smoke.

"Wants to know if I am busy or if I can come to the clubhouse."

"Go see what he wants." She said, standing and stubbing out the cigarette.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she stretched. "I'll be alright here. I'm going to try and tackle the bedroom next."

"Alright," I said, standing as well. "I'll send the prospect here to pick up the trash bags when he is done with work."

"Thanks." She smiled at me and we hugged. I shook my head at the state of the still filthy living room. Jax will have to rip up the carpet and get all new furniture soon. None of it looks salvageable to me.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone! Here is the next chapter!

I will hopefully have a Beta reader soon as someone was generous enough to offer to help me!

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it's a little shorter than my others but I am posting at work on my phone so it's a little more difficult.

As always, let me know what you think!

DDM

I pulled into the garage parking lot a few minutes later. The lot was pretty full, most of the bikes looked present and customer parking was crowded. I went up to the office and poked my head in.

Piney sat behind the desk, sorting through papers.

"Hey Piney." I smiled at him.

"Hey Lil," he said, voice deep and scratchy.

"Have you seen Jax?" I asked.

"In the club house last I saw him."

"Thanks!" I left him to his papers and ventured to the club house. I couldn't help but wrinkle my nose when I swung the door open. The scent of cigarette smoke, alcohol and possibly something dead hit me.

I saw Jax sitting at the bar, a crow eater hanging off his arm.

"Hey." I said as I hopped up onto the stool next to him. He turned and face me, Teller smile firmly in place.

"Hey." He greeted me, turning his back fully to Kelly, the crow eater. She seemed to recognize that she had been dismissed because she just gave me a small smile and walked off.

"What's up?" I asked as the prospect popped up from behind the bar and put a bottle of water in front of me. I smiled at him and he flushed, quickly scurrying off to finish whatever he had been told to do before I walked in.

"Just wanted to thank you for the idea yesterday." He grinned.

"I take it that it was successful?" I asked as I took a sip of my water.

"Yeah, mostly went off without a hitch."

"Mostly?"

"Always a few bumps with the guys." He laughed. "What have you need up to today?"

"Helping your mom clean up your house." I grimaced.

"That bad?"

"Worse." I shook my head.

"How much worse?"

"You really want to know?" I asked, he just nodded.

"It took about 10 bags to pick up the living room, another 6 to pick up the kitchen. Not to mention the piles of dirty dishes, laundry and needles. We hadn't tackled your bedroom yet but it didn't look any better. You will need to rip up the carpet and replace most of the furniture, she stubbed out cigarettes on almost every available surface. You will probably want a new bed to, who knows what has been done to that."

"Jesus Christ." He groaned.

"That reminds me," I looked around and spotted the prospect coming out of the dorm hall with a plunger in hand. "Hey, Sack?" I called.

"What's up?" He asked.

"When you get done here, could you go over to Jax's place and take the piles of trash bags to the dump?" I asked.

"Sure, no problem. How many are there?"

"At least 20 probably."

He whistled.

"Yeah, it's not pretty, but I know Gema will appreciate the help."

Sack nodded and headed off to resume his day.

"Have you heard anything about Abel?" I asked Jax after I turned back to face him. He was just watching me. "What?"

"Nothing," he smirked. "Just watching you boss around the prospect."

"I was not! I was very nice." I defended.

He just smirked at me still.

"Baby?" I prompted again.

"Yeah?" He asked, confusing the question for the endearment he always used with me.

I laughed.

"No, the baby," I said. "Abel, have you heard anything?"

"Oh," he laughed. "Yeah, his surgeon called, he is doing well, stable. They don't give him a really high chance at survival."

The casual way he said that set off bells in my head.

"Jax, have you gone to see him?" I asked. When he avoided my gaze I knew he hadn't. I stood up and took his hand. "Come on." I tugged.

He slid off his stool and followed be back toward the dorms. I pushed open the door to the familiar room and closed it behind Jax. He sat down on the unmade bed and leaned his elbows on his knees.

"Talk to me," I said gently. "Why haven't you gone to see him?"

"I just don't see the point." He sighed.

"What?" I said incredulously. "You are his father."

"For how long?" He snapped, standing up. I took a step back against the door to give him room to pace.

"What do you mean?"

"They gave him such a small chance at surviving, odds are he may not make it."

"You don't want to get attached, in case he dies?" I asked, feeling my heart break for him.

He sighed and sat back down. I knelt in front of him and took his much larger hands in mine.

"Look at me," I said gently. He slowly raised his eyes to mine. "It doesn't matter if Abel is alive for 24hrs or 100 years. You are always going to be his father. He need you, he needs you to be there, he needs you to believe in him."

My heart broke further at the lost look on his face.

"You need to go see him. You are his father, even if no one else believes in him, you have to, you are all he has."

"He has you." He said softly.

"But he need you." I repeated. "He needs you, Jackson."

He closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine. We stayed like that for a moment before he pulled away.

"Will you come with me?" He asked.

"Always." I smiled. There was a knock on the door and I stood up to open it. An scantily clad woman I didn't recognize stood there.

"Oh," She said as she looked at me. "Who are you?"


	6. Chapter 6

Welcome back! Thank you to all of you for supporting my story and feeding my creativity!

Here is the next chapter!

I decided to throw in the first bit of conflict for Jax and Lily. This chapter is longer than the last!

I hope you guys enjoy!

As always, let me know what you guys think!

DDM

"I'm looking for Jax." She said, not answering my question, which I found rude.

"Candace?" Asked Jax's voice at my shoulder. I looked back and up to find him standing directly behind me. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You know her?" I asked, feeling a little irritated.

"Hey baby," the woman, now Candace, simpered at Jax, completely ignoring the fact that I was standing in front of her target audience. I attempted to shuffle to the side so I could get around Candace and get the hell out of here but Jax's hand settled on my hip and squeezed, keeping me in place.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked again.

"Who is she?" Candace asked, pointing at me. The irritation was climbing.

"I am someone who would rather be just about anywhere else but here right now." I said as I tried to move away from Jax again, only to have his arm wrap around my waist to keep me still.

"Are you his Old Lady?" She demanded. "I thought you didn't have one anymore."

"I'm Lily." I said again.

"Did you know he slept with me a couple weeks ago in Vegas?" She asked snidely.

"Jax," I groaned. "I don't want to be in the middle of this."

"Get lost Candace." He said, ignoring me.

"We had fun, I thought maybe we could make it a regular thing." Candace said, pouting.

"What part of 'get lost' don't you understand?" He snapped.

"What is wrong with you?" She demanded, arms crossing. I hated the fact that I was shorter than her and she and Jax were literally having an conversation over my head. "You said I was special."

I scowled.

I grab onto the hand attached to the arm wrapped around my waist and began trying to peel the fingers back from my body, he resisted while simultaneously ignoring me. Damn him for being stronger than me.

"What does she have that I don't?" Candace demanded next, looking me up and down, clearly unimpressed.

"Besides the fact that your perfume is probably called 'Desperation'?" I asked as I kept trying to get free.

"You've already over stepped by showing up here, you should know better," Jax snapped at the woman. "Don't make this worse for yourself. Go back to Nevada, where you belong."

"She's not even that pretty, and she is short." The woman snapped back, nose in the air.

I felt the shift in body language behind me and didn't even have to look to know the expression on Jax's face, his arm tightened around my waist.

"Fuck you." He nearly growled at her. "Lily is everything you could never hope to be. Now, take your desperate, overdone, crow eater ass, back where you came from."

I would think that was sweet if I wasn't so mad about this whole situation.

"I can give you things she can't." Candace cooed and I wanted to smack the smile off her face. Stupid over painted, glamazon tall, crow eater. "She's no taller than a child, probably look like one everywhere else, wouldn't you rather have a real woman?"

That's it!

I had officially had enough, furious that I was being trapped in this situation. It had nothing to do with me but I was steadily being dragged into it. Resentment bubbles up in my chest and I stomped on Jax's foot and he cried out in surprise and let go of me. I was so angry, at the both of them that I felt like I was seeing red. I shoved past Candace, who looked surprised, knocking her into the opposite wall and started off down the hall.

"Lily!" Jax called after me. I stopped and turned to glare at them both.

"I will not stand here and be insulted while you argue with your Road Trash." I seethed.

"Looks like you won't have an Old Lady for long." Candace seemed awfully smug as she righted herself on her teetering heels, she was obviously very new to club life since she didn't seem to realize how big of a line she crossed by following a Patch home.

"I am not his Old Lady." I snapped, suddenly close to tears. "Its woman like you that remind me what a bad idea it would be."

"Lily..." Jax looked upset.

"Handle your shit, I'll see you later." I turned and fled back into the bar of the club house. I was nearly to the door when I heard my name.

"Lily?" I glanced over and saw Gema. "What's wrong?"

"You asked me why I refuse to even think about being more with him," the angry tears began to fall. "Shit like that, is why!" I pointed back toward the dorms before I once again made for the exit. Mad at myself now for being so upset.

I climbed in my car and slammed the door. Cranking the engine I pulled out of the spot as the clubhouse door opened. I glanced my my rearview mirror and saw Jax standing in the parking lot, run his hands through his hair as he watched me drive away.

I didn't bother going home, I just drove, trying to get myself back under control. I finally pulled up at the park and got out, wondering over to the swings. I sat down and sighed, slowly beginning to swing my legs back and forth.

I was upset with myself for allowing the whole situation to bother me. If I was going to be totally honest with myself, I was partially upset about that woman following Jax Home, but I was most upset over the fact that he had opened me up for the crow eaters insults and that I tried to remove myself from a conversation that shouldn't have had anything to do with me, and Jax saw fit to force me to stay.

Even more than being bad mouthed to my face, I hated it, with a passion, when someone dismisses my obvious wishes. And to be physically restrained like that had been wholly unacceptable.

I was staring off into space when I heard someone clear their throat to my right. I jumped and nearly fell off my swing. I looked up to find Deputy Hale standing off to the side.

"Need a push?" He asked lightly.

"No, I am good." I said with a laugh.

"You don't look good." He said taking a step forward.

"Excuse me?"

"That's not what i meant." He said quickly as I scowled at him. "I just mean you look like you have been crying."

"It's just been a very long day." I sighed.

"Yeah, I've had a few of those." He leaned against the swing frame and crossed his arms.

"What are you doing out here, Deputy?" I asked.

"I was just driving by and saw you sitting all by yourself and wanted to check on you."

"Well, I appreciate that." I said. "But I am really ok, just needed to clear my head and this seemed like a good a place as any."

"Teller make you cry?" He asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Is Jax the reason you were crying?" He asked again. I just frowned up at him.

"It's just been a long and stressful few days." I said, shaking my head.

"You deserve someone who won't make you cry." He said, unwilling to let it go.

"Deputy," I started.

"David." He interrupted me.

"David," I corrected." "I am fine, there has been a lot going on lately between work and personal things. It just all boiled over; and, when I chose to be in a relationship, I will be sure to pick someone that will, hopefully, not make me cry."

I stood up from the swing and brushed off my jeans.

"I really appreciate you checking on me." I said as I headed toward my car, Hale following. "I didn't realize it had gotten so late and I need to get home."

I unlocked my car and climbed in, rolling down the window. Hale was leaning against the police Jeep parked next to my car.

"Thanks again, David." I smiled at him.

"If you ever need to talk, I'm here." He said, getting into his own vehicle.

I nodded before rolling up my window, done with the conversation. It has been to long of a day to field questions from nosey Hale. I drove to my house without the radio on and groaned when I reached my driveway. There was a bike parked in front of my house, a blonde, smoking a cigarette sitting on my front steps. I killed the engine and just sat for a minute before convincing myself to get out.


	7. Chapter 7

Another chapter out today! Feeling good!

Things are a little rocky between Jax and Lily but no relationship is ever perfect. Lily is stubborn and set in what she believes and change is a gradual thing.

Thanks to you all for sticking with me while these two figure themselves out!

Hoping to have another chapter out later this evening or tomorrow! Finger crossed!

As always, let me know what you think.

DDM

I walked up the path to the front streps and just sat down next to Jax. We were both silent for a few minutes before he stubbed out his cancer stick and turned to face me, leaning back against the railing post.

"You still mad at me?" He asked.

"Yep." I said simply.

"She is gone, going back to Nevada." He said.

"Her showing up here isn't why I am mad at you." I said, still not looking at him. "You are allowed to sleep with whoever you want Jax. It's the fact that I tried, not once, not twice, but three times to extricate myself from that situation and you physically restrained me."

I finally turned to look at him, he was frowning at me.

"In no way, shape or form is that ok, Jax. That conversation had absolutely nothing to do with me and I didn't want to be part of it. It is not ok that you forced me to stay and have your argument literally over my head."

I looked down at his hands, watching him play with his rings.

"I will always support you when you need it, but you didn't need me for that. That wasn't any of my business but you put me in the middle of it and made me a target for her nasty comments."

"I'm sorry." He said, looking up at me from his hands. "I didn't mean to upset you, or trap you. I just wanted her to see that she wasn't wanted or needed."

"There were better ways of doing that than holding me hostage." I said.

"You are right, what i did wasn't fair to you, and I am sorry."

I nodded and stood up.

"Can I stay?" He asked as he followed my lead. I thought for a moment as I unlocked my door.

"No, you should go home." I decided, looking at him over my shoulder. He had the classic Jax 'someone kicked my puppy' look on his face, I wasn't moved.

"I appreciate your apology Jax, but I am still mad. You crossed a major line today. I'd prefer to be on my own right now, hopefully I will feel a little more forgiving tomorrow."

"Will you still go with me to see the kid?" He asked, sounding dejected.

"We can go after I get out of work tomorrow." I nodded. "Goodnight, Jax."

"Night Lil." He said and I closed the door, hearing the bike start up o sighed and went to make myself dinner before I climbed into bed and ended another stressful day. I really hope tomorrow will be better.

Wanting a good day just turned out to be wishful thinking on my part. Deb was a pain in my ass the second I walked into the library. She outright refused to do what was asked of her, the only time she was even remotely pleasant was when she would bring up her cousin, Deputy Hale. I couldn't help but feel she was trying to talk him up somehow. Sadly for her, I wasn't even remotely interested in hearing what she had to say so she went back to being snippy and nasty. Even Mindy noticed and was trying to play mediator between us.

Finally, just after lunch I had enough.

"Deb, could you finish shelving the books for the nonfiction section?" I asked.

"I'd rather not." She huffed.

"Ok," I said, feeling my frustration mounting. "Let me rephrase that. When you are finished with that, go finish shelving the nonfiction section."

"I hate that section."

"I didn't ask if you liked it or not. It needs to be done."

"Then you do it." She snapped at me. I could see Mindy out of the corner of my eye, looking nervous.

"I need to finish this," I gestured to the huge stack of new books that needed labels. "Go finish nonfiction."

"You are not my boss." She said haughtily.

"You know what," I slammed the book I was holding back down on the stack as I turned to face her.

"Lily..."Mindy said, sounding cautious.

"You are right, Deb," I said. "I'm not your boss anymore. You're fired."

I smiled at her and Mindy groaned behind me.

"You can't do that!" Deb said angrily.

"As head librarian, I think you will find I can."

"We are all on the same level." She was getting angrier, her face turning red.

"No," Mindy said. "Lily is head of the library. She just treats everyone the same."

"You don't need to finish out the day." I said, turning back to my work. "We will mail you your last check. Have a nice afternoon."

"You can't do this!" She shrieked.

"Yes I can," I didn't bother facing her. "Thank you for your time, but it didn't work out."

"Deb, no!" Mindy shouted just before I felt my head yanked backwards.

I cried out in shock as I was drug to the ground, Deb suddenly on top of me, nails digging into the skin of my cheek as she hit me. Thankfully years of self defense classes paid off and I managed to get Deb off of me, and slugged her hard in the face, sending her to her ass.

"My nose!" She screeched. I vaguely heard Mindy's frantic voice in the background as I took several steps back toward the cart of books. Deb was still making god awful sounds and holding her bloodied nose.

I could hear sirens in the distance.

Deb climbed to her feet and came at me again with a shrill cry. I did the first thing that came to mind and grabbed one of the new leather bound books and swung it, connecting hard with her face and sending her to the ground again.

Just as she was trying to stand, the front door of my library burst open and Hale and another deputy burst in.

"What's going on here?" Hale demanded as he came to stand between us.

"That biker bitch attacked me!" Deb cried, gesturing to her face.

Hale looked at me in surprise. I opened my mouth to defend myself but Mindy beat me to it.

"She did not!" She said angrily, glaring at Deb before looking at Hale. "Lily fired her and she got mad and attacked her while her back was turned."

"Is that true?" Hale demanded, turning to frown at his cousin. Deb looked at Mindy, apparently shocked she hadn't backed her up.

I raised my hand up to my cheek and it came away bloody, she had gotten me pretty good.

"I'm pressing charges." I said suddenly.

Everyone turned to look at me. I've been having a stressful few days I am at the end of my rope.

Hale signed and took out his cuffs, Deb look scandalized.

"Turn around, Deb." He said.

"David!" She cried. "You can't be serious. You are really going to arrest me for putting that biker bitch in her place? Look what she did to my nose!"

"Stop calling her that." He snapped as he grabbed her arm and swung her around. "This is your own damn fault."

"We are family!" She screamed.

"That doesn't mean you can attack anyone you want." He said angrily. "Wait till Uncle Greg finds out about this."

I watched as Hale handed A still screaming Deb over to the other Deputy who began reading her her rights as he lead her away. A tap on my shoulder had me turned to face Mindy who had a wet paper towel in her hand.

I thanked her and pressed the cool material to my cheek.

"Are you ok," Hale asked.

I nodded. He took out a note pad and a pen.

"Tell me what happened." He said, looking professional.

I sighed and told him about what was said leading up to the altercation.

"So you told her to go home, and she grabbed you by the hair and yanked you to the ground?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"She came at her from behind." Mindy added. Hale continued to scribble on his paper.

"Then what?"

"She was on top of me," I said and gestured to my face. "That's when she did this."

"You managed to get her off you?"

"I know a little self defense, I got her off me and punched her in the nose." I said, pleased with myself. "She got back up and came at me again and I hit her in the face with this." I held up my new favorite book.

"That's when you guys got here." Mindy said.

"Who called the police?" He asked.

"I did." Mindy said. "She should have just gone home, it shouldn't have been a surprise when she was fired. She is a horrible employee."

"That bad?" David asked, looking a little embarrassed.

"The worst." I said nodding. "Interesting family you have."

"We all have a few bad eggs." He said shrugging.

"Most of mine are cracked." I said grinning. My face wasn't bleeding anymore but I would need a couple bandages.

"Let me take you to the hospital." He said, putting his note pad away.

"I don't need all that," I shook my head. "It's not even bleeding anymore."

"We need a hospital report for the injuries and to take a few pictures." He explained.


	8. Chapter 8

Hi guys! Here is the next chapter I said I would try to get out!

Things between Jax and Lily are still a little stormy, and as with most storms, things are going to get worse before they get better, but I promise they do get better! As I said before, no relationship is easy and there are plenty of ups and downs ahead for these two while they try to figure themselves out!

Thank you to all who left me a review and those of you who added me to your various favorites, follows and alerts! It means the world to me!

As always, let me know what you think!

DDM

"Fine," I sighed. "Will you be ok by yourself Mindy?"

"Yeah, it's been super slow today, I'll be fine." She nodded. "Go get patched up."

I left with the deputy and climbed into the front seat of the Jeep when he refused to let me drive myself. It was quiet until we pulled up to a four way stop and I saw Juice and Tig sitting on the other side of the intersection. They were looking at me wide eyed as David drove past them without pausing. I rolled my eyes and gave them a little wave. When I looked in my side mirror I saw they had both turned to watch us drive away, cellphone already to Juice's ear.

"Looks like we won't have long before your cracked eggs hatch and descend on the hospital." David said, I glanced over to catch him rolling his eyes.

"Loyal eggs." I shrugged.

We pulled up outside the hospital, thanks to the legal aspect of my visit I was seen very quickly. Photos were snapped of my face and a nice nurse was gently disinfecting the scratches, David standing near the wall, when the door to the exam room burst open. We all jumped, looking wide eyed at a furious looking Jax standing in the door way.

"What the fuck happened?" He demanded, striding toward me, long legs closing the distance quickly. The nurse pulled away as Jax took my chin in his hand to inspect the damage.

"Teller..." Hale said, trying to get Jax's attention.

"Who did this?" He asked through clenched teeth.

"It's not a big deal. Could you let the nice lady finish please." I said with a sigh.

"You don't belong in here." Hale told Jax, stepping forward as Jax moved to stand beside me so the nurse could finish.

The poor woman gave me a hesitant look but I gave her a warm smile and that seemed to help her pluck up the courage to get back to my face.

"You need to leave." Hale said, louder this time.

"Not happening." Jax said back, tone getting more aggressive.

"It's fine, he can stay." I said as a patch was secured on my cheek. "I am fine."

"Who the fuck tore up your face?" Jax asked again.

"Deb," I said rolling my eyes. "She didn't like that I fired her and she jumped me when my back was turned."

"Fucking bitch!" He said furiously.

"Hey! Watch your mouth when you talk about my cousin." Hale said angrily.

"You hired a cops family member?" He asked confused.

"Mindy has a bleeding heart." I said simply. It was his turn to roll his eyes as he nodded. He's met Mindy before.

"She is gone now, and I am pressing charges. It's being handled." I said. I saw the look on his face and knew what he was thinking. "By me" I stressed.

"If something happens to my cousin I know where to look first." Hale said firmly.

"All set." The nurse cut it, looking a little scared of the angry biker next to me but trying to either cut the tension or get us out Of her exam room.

"Thanks!" I said, giving her an apologetic smile as I grabbed Jax by the arm and pulled him from the room, Hale following. Juice and Tig were standing on either side of the door when we exited.

"Damn, girl." Tig said when he saw my bandage.

"You should see the other girl." I said playfully before turning back to Hale.

"Thanks again, David," I said. "Do you need anything else from me?"

"I don't think so," he scowled at the guys. "I'll call you if we have anymore questions."

"Great," I smiled at him. "Thanks for your help."

I turned away from him and back to Jax who still had a slightly mulish expression on his face. I placed a hand against his chest, successfully gaining his attention.

"It's fine," I said gently. "I am fine."

He nodded and put both hands on my hips and pulled me a little closer. I saw him glance over my head and his expression turned smug. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Hale was glaring at us. Jax tugged me a little closer. I rolled my eyes and yanked in the edge of his Kute.

"Since we are already here," I said, making him look at me. "Let's go see Able."

He looked a little hesitant but I wasn't having it. I took his hand and drug him to the elevator, the guys following. We piled into the moving box and it took us up 2 floors.

I gave Tig a look over my shoulder and he just nodded, snagging Juice by the arm, they went in the direction of the waiting room so Jax and I could go see the baby. We stopped outside the room, peering through the window at the nurse who was sitting with Able.

I took Jax's hand, interlacing our fingers and gave it a squeeze before opening the door and leading him in. The nurse saw us and smiled.

"How is he?" I asked as I let go of Jax and gave him a little push. He moved past us and slowly approaches the little incu.

"He is doing well," she said softly. "His heart is stable as is his stomach. His incisions are holding and there is no sign of infection. He has sleep apnea and we have him on a stick feeding and observation schedule."

"That's great." I said, eyes on Jax's back. He was extremely tense and I knew the nurse being there was only making him more so. "Do you think you could give us a few?"

"Of course." She picked up her clipboard and made for the door. "I will be at the nurses station if you need me."

She closed the door behind her and I went to the window and closed the blinds, giving us some privacy before going to stand beside Jax.

"Jax?" I asked gently, seeing a huge jumble of emotions on his face. He finally turned to me, wrapping both arms around my waist and burring his face against my neck. I hugged him tightly, running my fingers through his hair with one hand. I rocked us gently from side to side as I tried to sooth his pain. He didn't cry, it wasn't something he did often, but I could feel the pain radiating from him.

"He is going to be ok." I whispered. Jax nodded against my neck and we stayed like that for several long minutes. Finally he pulled back, looking a little calmer and faced his son again.

"He is so damn small." He mumbled.

"But he is strong." I said firmly. He nodded in agreement, taking my hand again.

"How long does he have to stay in that toaster?" He asked and I couldn't help my laugh.

"I am not sure, probably for quite a while."

Jax slowly sat down in the chair by Able and sighed. I stood next to him as carded my fingers through his hair as he leaned against my side.

"I've got a kid." He said softly.

"Yes you do."

"I'm a dad."

"Yes you are." I looked down and the smile that was in his face made tears come to my eyes. I knew If he came to visit, he'd fall in love with that little boy.

"I have a son." He said after a minute.

"Lord help us all." I said and it was his turn to laugh. He looked up at me and a look of concern flicked over his face.

"What's wrong?" He had obviously seen my tears.

"Happy tears." I said.

He stood up and pulled me to him tightly. I rested my head against his chest and relaxed, I felt him press his lips to the top of my head. I pulled back slightly to look up at him.

"You have come so far." I said. "This is going to be while new territory, bringing its own rewards and challenges."

"Yeah, but I've got you to knock sense into me when I go off the rails." He said grinning.

"Probably with something really heavy." I smiled back. His gaze flicked from my eyes to my lips and back again before he started to lean in closer. Before I could decide how I wanted to handle the situation, the door clicked open. I quickly stepped away from him when I saw who was at the door. Jax scowled as he turned to find out who had interrupted our 'almost moment'.

"Tara." He said, I was surprised to see that the scowl didn't leave his face, from the expression on her's, she was to.

"Hi," she said, sounding g uncertain, glancing at me.

"I'll give you guys a minute and go check on the guys." I said as I stepped away from Jax. I was stopped by his hand on my wrist, but he was looking at Tara.

"What do you need Tara?" He asked, still holding onto me.

"Jax," I snapped, pulling on my arm. "I just stopped being mad at you this morning, we will not have a repeat of yesterday."

I glared at him and he quickly let go of me.

"Sorry." He said softly.

I nodded and moved toward the door, Tara moving out of my way as I went. I paused after the door closed and sighed.

"So," I heard Tara's voice behind the closed door. "You and Lily?"

"That isn't any of your business, Tara." Jax said firmly.

Time to go.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey everyone!

I am pretty happy with how this story is going and I am so glad so many of you like it too!

This chapter has some more stormy weather for our pair but I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel finally! Not to say that more rockiness isn't in their future, no relationship is without its trials!

I will try to have another chapter up maybe this afternoon, maybe tomorrow!

As always, let me know what you guys think!

DDM

I headed in the direction of the waiting room, hoping to find Juice and Tig. I paused as I passed the room I know Wendy was in but decided I didn't need that kind of stress today. I found Juice flirting with a nurse at the nurses station and rolled my eyes. Tig was in the waiting room, texting away on his phone.

"How is he?" He asked as I plopped down next to him.

"Stable."

"How's Jax?"

"Stable-ish." I said shrugging.

"He has a lot going on."

"Yeah, he told me what happened with The Mayans."

Tig looked surprised before he smirked at me.

"Of course he did."

"Shut up Tigger." I grumbled.

"Where is he?" He asked.

"Talking to Tara."I said.

"Not anymore." He said, nodding toward the door way. I turned to see Jax storming our way, his face dark, expression furious. Tig and I stood up and met him at the nurses station, Juice joining us.

"Let's go." He snapped. We all glanced at each other, confused before following him back to the elevator and out the front door.

"I need a ride back to the library to get my car since David drove me." I said.

Jax scowled darkly at me before handing me his helmet. I strapped it on before settling on the bike behind him. I could feel how tense he was as I held onto him as he drove. I was thankful to get off a few minutes later, his angry aura was stifling, even outside.

"What's going on between you and Hale?" He asked when I handed him his helmet back.

"What?"

"You and Hale...David." He gave me an angry, pointed look.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded, getting irritated myself.

"Tara said she saw the two of you hanging out in the park yesterday, he came to your rescue today, and you called him David." He was nearly sneering at me And I felt my hackles raise.

"For your information," i seethed. "I went to the park to finish crying after what you did to me yesterday. He saw me sitting by myself and came to see if I was ok."

I balled my hands into fists, feeling my keys dig into my palm.

"Mindy called the police when Deb attacked me today and Hale just happened to be the deputy that showed up. I had already taken care of Deb and didn't need rescuing! He drove me to the hospital because I decided to press charges and he needed information from the hospital for his reports. I called him David because I was being polite and that's what he asked me to call him. Even if there was something going on, it wouldn't be any of your business. At least it would be a relationship not just screwing someone I picked up at random."

I was nearly shaking by the time I was done, turning on my heel and unlocking my car. I yanked the door open but paused to turn back to Jax. He was sitting on his bike still, looking more than a little guilty.

"I'm sorry, Lily."

"You seem to be saying that a lot lately." I snapped. "I know you have a lot of stress going on, between the club, Able, Wendy and I am sure Tara, but that doesn't mean you get to take it out on me. I haven't done anything to deserve your temper being directed at me. I just decided that I was going to forgive yesterday and now you turn around and get nasty with me for no other reason than Tara making something out of nothing." He tried to speak but I kept right on going, not interested in what he had to say at the moment.

"Leave me alone for a few days while you get your shit together. I have had a rough week and I don't need this. When you decide you can treat me with the respect I deserve, you can come see me again. Until then, fuck off Jackson."

I climbed into my car and slammed the door, pulling out of my parking spot I ignored the pained look on my friends face. I didn't even glance at my rear view window as I drove away. I know I was a bit harsh but he can be so bull headed that over the years I have found that this is the only way to get my point across and ensure that it sticks.

I was not his verbal punching bag that he got to take his frustrations out on. It wasn't fair and I wouldn't stand for it. He could go jump off a cliff as far as I was concerned today. As I drove I pulled out my phone and hit the 4 button, bringing it to my ear.

"Hey." Mindy's voice sounded in my ear.

"Hey, will you be ok if I take a couple days off."

"Yeah sure, are you ok?"

"Yeah, just a lot going on and I am emotionally drained. I need a couple days to myself watching Netflix and eating junk food. I know I have been asking a lot of you this last week or so but..."

"Sounds like the perfect plan." She laughed, cutting me off. "Now that Deb is gone, things should start running smoothly again. I'll call you if there are any emergencies."

"Perfect," I said. "Thanks Mindy, I really appreciate this."

"No problem, take your time." She said gently. She was a genuinely good person and I was lucky to have her in my life.

I pulled up to my house, and hurried up my front path, locking the door behind me I slid down to the floor and just sat there. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to let the stress of the last few days leave me. My cheek had begun to throb and I was so tired. I went to my room, pulled on my pajamas and went to the kitchen to find food.

It was 5pm by the time I was done making myself spaghetti with meant sauce and garlic bread. I set everything down in the living room and went to close all the curtains, making my house nice and dim before clicking on tv and loading Netflix.

I wasn't bothered for two days, my phone didn't ring, no one knocked on my door, no text messages. It was lovely.

When I went to the library on the third day, I felt calm and refreshed, ready to tackle the day, and hopefully move on. Mindy and I finished all the catalogs, scanned in all the book and had a nice lunch. I had taken my bandage off to let my cut heal, it had scabbed over nicely and I was optimistic that it wouldn't even scar. I was even still feeling good when I pulled back into my driveway at the end of the day and saw Gemma's big black SUV sitting in front of my house. She was leaning against the driver door, smoking

"Hey Gema." I greeted, getting a hug after she stubbed out the cigarette.

"Hey."

"How did the rest of the cleaning go?" I asked. "Did the prospect come get the bags?"

"All finished." She said as she followed me into the house. "Sack picked up all the bags and took them to the dump for me."

"Good, good." I nodded as I went to the fridge and pulled out the pitcher of water, I poured two glasses and went to the kitchen table, my guest following. "What brings you here?"

"Jax said he screwed up," she said. "Came to find out just how bad. I wanted to come sooner but he told me you wanted a few days to yourself."

I huffed.

"Tell me what happened." She said. I rolled my eyes but did as she asked, telling her about the issue with Candace as well as my altercation with Deb and Jax lashing out at me over Hale after his chat with Tara.

"That bitch is already trying to make trouble." She scowled.

"It's not all her fault," I said. "Jax didn't have to rise to the bait and lash out at me, he chose to."

"True. As much as he will deny it, he loses his mind a little at the idea of someone taking you away from him."

I rolled my eyes.

"Doesn't make it ok." I said firmly. "I told him that he can come back and talk to me after he gets his shit together and is ready to treat me with the respect I deserve."

Gema grinned as she took a sip of her water.

"What?" I demanded when she just continued to look at me.

"You can say you are not his Old Lady all you want but you sure talk like one. A good Old Lady will support her Old Man But never let him forget just who she is."

"We went to see Able." I said, changing the subject.

"Good, he needed to do it."

"I figured I would go with him after I got out of work the other day but Deb gave me a first class ticket to the hospital early."

"Stupid bitch." Gema huffed. "Your face looks like it's healing pretty well. She got you good."

"Yeah, cheap shot." I said. "I broke her nose and knocked her on her ass with a book to the face."

"That's my girl." Gema grinned at me.

"Have you gone to see the baby in the last couple of day?" I asked.

"Yeah, he is doing well. Better than Wendy is." She seemed to hesitant when she realized what she said.

"What happened to Wendy?" I asked. I waited as Gema busied herself taking another drink of water. "Gema?"

"She OD'd in the hospital." She said finally. "They managed to get to her in time though so she will be fine. Still Fucked up and selfish, but fine."

"How did she even get her hands on anything to..." I trailed off as I saw the stubbornness come over Gema's face.

I just looked at her.

"What?" She demanded this time.

"Tell me you didn't." I said.

"Didn't what?"

"Tell me you didn't bring the recovering addict drugs while she was in the hospital."

"So what if I did?" She scowled. "Would it be so bad if she died? She nearly killed my grand baby and made my son miserable. There is no way she will be let anywhere near that boy and she know is. It would be best if she disappeared all together and that was the most permanent way I could come up with without killing her myself."

"There is a special place in Hell for people who hurt children, especially their own. I think she belongs there." I said after a moment of silence. "I may not agree with quite the way you went about it, but I definitely agree with her needing to permanently go away. It will be better for Abel and Jax in the long run."

Gema just started at me hard for a minute before nodding.

"There isn't anything we wouldn't do for them." She said. "This stays between us, just us."

"No one else knows?" I asked.

"Well, Tara suspects but I haven't confirmed it." She admitted.

"She is looking to stir up shit, if she knows, she will say something to Jax." I warned.

"If he asks I won't deny it." She said. "Having some back up would help though, in case he decides he disagrees."

"I am in your corner on this one." I nodded. "Doesn't matter how she goes, she will end up in the same place. No matter how 'saved' she says she is."

"I gave it to her in a bible and told her to 'Go with God'." She smirked.

"So dramatic." I laughed. "You don't have any of that shit left over right? You got rid of it all?"

"Yeah, didn't want Clay to find it, it's all gone."

"Good, you don't need that kind of heat from him."

"So, when are you going to forgive Jax?" She asked, jumping back to the topic I didn't really want to discuss.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys!

Inam pretty happy with this chapter! I feel like most of the storm bwteeen Jax and Lily has passed, which is great because they were exhausting me!

I want Lily be to a strong woman who doesn't let anyone push her around and takes shit from no one!

Just to let everyone know, I will be slightly covering the SOA Fun Town episode in the next few chapters which deals with sexual assault. I won't go into anything graphic, and I mostly weave around and through the whole thing but I know it's a trigger for some people. Just wanted to give you all a heads up!

I tried to make this chapter little longer than the others!

As always, let me know what you think!

DDM

"I pretty much already have," I admitted with a shrug.

"You know, if you guys were a couple it would probably help with the jealousy issues." She said.

"It would only make them worse." I laughed.

"No," she shook her head. "Jax is jealous of Hale because he can steal you away since Jax doesn't have any actual claim to you. You are not officially his which leaves you to be snatched up by someone else. No one in the club would dare, but that won't stop the rest of the male population. If you were together, it would give him a feeling of security when it comes to the two of you."

"I am not a piece of property to be claimed. I already told you where I stand on this." I sighed. "He can't give me what I want out of a relationship, it's just not his way."

"If you were his Old Lady you could set down the rules." She pressed, insistent. "If he breaks them, then you can decide what to do about it, but what if he doesn't. Will you really throw away a chance to possibly be happy just because you are afraid of getting hurt? The two of you are already so close that I doubt adding a new label to you would change much of anything; just give you both more security."

I frowned at her but didn't say anything. Jax and I had been friends for so long, I wasn't sure if I wanted that to change. He was a constant presence in my life and I was worried that if things didn't work out, I would lose that.

But what if she was right... Jax and I already had a really strong foundation that our friendship sat on, could we build on that?

"Tonight is the opening night of Fun Town." Gema said, breaking into my self reflection. "You should come, we are all going."

"I do love Carmel apples." I said thoughtfully.

"You have the biggest sweet tooth of anyone I know." She laughed.

I just smiled, not denying it.

"Sounds like a plan." I decided. "I always have a good time there."

"Great! I am going to go grocery shopping for Sunday dinner tomorrow, want to join me?" She stood up from the table.

"Why not." I shrugged, not having been out of the house in a few days.

We pulled into the parking lot and I grabbed a buggy, wheeling after Gema.

"What are you making?" I asked.

"I was thinking lasagna since the guys all like it, with corn on the cob and salad, and garlic bread."

"That sounds good, not a big salad though," I laughed. "The guys won't eat it."

"They run from anything green." She agreed. We wondered the aisles picking up the things Gema would need. We were passing the checkout line when I saw Donna. I hadn't spoken to her in quite a while, she had been having a hard time since Opie went away. According to Jax, things were even more strained now that the man was back. I hung back a little from Gema to listen to the cashier tell Donna softly that they couldn't accept any more of her checks. Apparently the last couple had bounced.

I watched as she embarrassedly began sorting through her groceries, putting things back in the buggy and only buying a few items. When she was done and leaving the store I went up to the cashier.

"I'll pay for the rest of those." I told him. He smiled at me and rang everything up as quickly as he could. I went outside and saw Donna putting her bag In the back of the truck.

"Donna." I said, getting her attention. I held out the bag as she turned to face me. "Here."

"I don't need your charity." She said bitterly.

"It's a good think it's not for you then." I said lightly.

She looked at me confused.

"It's for the kids, they have to eat, right?" I stepped closer and she slowly took the bag.

"Thanks Lily." She said softly, looking embarrassed.

"Hey," I made sure she was looking me straight in the eye. "We all need help sometimes."

"I know," she sighed.

"How are you guys doing?" I asked.

"It's...okay." She said.

"Hopefully it will get easier." I said. "There is going to be lasagna at Gema's tomorrow night, you guys should come. I know everyone would love to see the kids."

"I don't think so." She said firmly.

"Ok." I smiled, knowing better than to push . "No problem. See you later Donna."

"Bye." She said as she climbed into the truck.

I went back into the store to see Gema was checking out. I gave the kid behind the counter a wink and he grinned at me.

"All set?" She asked when I reached her.

"Yeah, just giving Donna a hand." I shrugged.

"How is she?"

"Struggling." I said simply. Gema nodded. "Drop me back at my place?"

"Sure."

"I'll see you tonight." I told her as I got out of her SUV.

"See you then!"

I watched as she drove off, shaking my head. That woman was like a force of nature when she wanted something. I went inside to cleanup my lazy mess from the last couple of days, not having bothered to do any dishes while I vegged out.

I dressed in a simple pair of dark denim shorts, a dark green v-neck T-shirt and a pair of black converse. I quickly lined my green eyes with black kohl, making them stand out even more and through my long black hair into a high ponytail, before getting in my car and making my way to Fun Town. I parked in the designated spaces and walked toward the sounds of laughter and music, the bright neon lights of the rides glowing in the darkness.

I smiled as I watched children run around, most likely high on cotton candy and funnel cakes. I picked my way through the people until I spotted Gema and Clay standing near one of the food vendors. I hugged them both, happy to see them looking so carefree.

"You made it!" I heard another voice say and I was lifted off my feet from behind and spun around. I laughed as Chibs put me back on my feet. I hugged him as well.

"Who would miss Fun Town?" I beamed. I grabbed him by the arm and tugged him toward the game rows.

"Come win me a prize." I laughed, waving at the others as they shook their heads at us. Chibs was one of my favorite club members. Always sweet and kind, very much like an uncle, while most of the others felt like brothers.

I watched Chibs shoot at a row of bottles, knocking each one down in quick succession. I jumped when I felt a hand on my hip, a Carmel apple appearing in front of my face. I looked over my shoulder and frowned at Jax. I gently removed his hand from my hip and turned back to Chibs when I heard him cheer.

"You can pick from any of this row." The game runner said, eyeing the guys warily. I side stepped the apple on a stick and pointed to a stuffed monkey that was a pretty purple color. The skinny little man handed it to me and I smiled at Chibs. He returned my smile but took the stuffed toy from me.

"I'll hold onto this for you, lass. Don't want it getting sticky." He nodded over my shoulder then wondered away, probably to rejoin the others; leaving me with his VP.

I finally turned to face Jax, frowning. He was standing there, holding the Carmel apple and looking at me cautiously.

"Truce?" He asked, holding out the sugary treat.

"Depends," i said.

"On?"

"If you have your shit straight or not."

"Yeah, I think I do." He said.

I took the stick from him, still watching him with a frown.

"Walk with me." He said, holding out his arm like he has done countless times before. We strolled in silence for a few minutes, watching all the people having fun, seeing the guys interspersed amongst the others.

"I'm not going to say 'I'm sorry' again," he said finally. "You were right, I've been saying it a lot lately. Increasingly over the last week or so. I let Tara get in my head and I shouldn't have, she still knows just how to make me doubt myself, just like she used to."

I nodded.

"She was always very good at that." I agreed. "When we were in school that's how she kept you dependent on her."

"Yeah. She knows how to push my buttons and I let her drag you into it and I shouldn't have."

I took a bite of my apple and hummed happily.

"Thank you for my apple." I said.

"You always liked them." He smiled at me.

I looked forward and frowned, seeing the object of our conversation coming in our direction.

"Nope." He said and lead me off to the right. "I know that look. She has something to say."

"Let's go on a ride." I suggest and was surprised when Jax led us to the fairs wheel. We climbed into the little car and up we went.

"Our little slice of the world looks so pretty from up here." I said, looking out over the town.

"It's nice." He agreed.

"Are you done lashing out at me for a while?" I asked as we went around again, pausing at the very top.

"You didn't deserve that." He said. "I'll try not to do it again."

"Sounds like a good plan." I sighed as I leaned against him, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. Gema's words from this afternoon floated around in my head. We were coming to the bottom again when I saw that Tara was standing near the exit.

"She's persistent." I frowned.

"Like a rash." He mumbled.

We disembarked the ride and walked down the ramp. I had the urge to put the rest of my Carmel apple in the other woman's hair as she turned to face us.

"Can I talked to you?" She asked, arms crossed.

"I asked you to leave off." Jax said.

"I wasn't talking to you." She sniffed, nose in the air.

I was stunned, she never wanted to speak to me if she could help it.

"It's important." She added.

"Yeah, I guess." I gave Jax back my apple so I wouldn't be tempted to go through with my earlier urge and followed the other woman as she walked away. We walked until we were away from most of the crowed before she stopped and turned to face me.

"You know what I want to discuss?" She asked.

"Not a clue." I said honestly.

"Did you hear about what happened to Wendy the other day?"

"I heard some junkie friend of her's wanted to lighten up her stay and brought her a part favor." I shrugged.

"I had spoken to her earlier that day, she was determined to get clean for the baby." She said.

"She has said that before, it never sticks."

"She was adamant." Tara insisted.

"Ok."

"Do you know who her last visitor was before her OD?"

"Nope." I crossed my arms.

"It was Gema."

"So?"

I could see she was getting frustrated with my casual attitude toward our subject.

"So. Who do you really think supplied her with those drugs?" She huffed.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, bored.

"I am trying to say I think Gema gave Wendy those drugs and told her to kill herself." She said angrily.

"I know you don't like Gema, but that's a bit of a stretch." I rolled my eyes. "Even if someone did get drugs into the hospital, Wendy didn't have to shoot them. No one is responsible for her actions but her."

"So whoever gave her the drugs isn't responsible for what she did with them?" She demanded incredulously.

"No. Wendy made her choice."

"She might as well have handed her a loaded gun!"

"If she had been given a gun, she wouldn't still be here." I said simply.

"So you agree with what she did?" She was getting angrier now.

"Who, Wendy?"

"No, Gema!"

"What did Gema do?" I was just winding her up now. She had been purposely causing problems for me lately and I was rather enjoying this.

"You know what she did! She supplied Wendy!"

"Why would she do that?"

"To make sure she won't be around for Able."

"Of course She won't be," I said. "She doesn't need to be dead for that to be true. She won't have anything to do with that little boy. Not after what she did."

"So you do agree."

"Tara, this is going in circles." I sighed. "I am not going to tell you i feel sad over Wendy almost dying because I don't. There is a special place in Hell for people who hurt children, and she will end up there. How she gets there isn't really my concern."

"If you are not going to do anything, I'll tell Jax what you did."

"What did I do?" I asked, scowling.

"You agree with what his mother did, you were probably in on it the whole time."

"Now you are just reaching." I scoffed. "I didn't have anything to do with what happened to Wendy. I hadn't left my house in two days while all this was apparently going on."

"Why are you protecting her?"

"I am done with this conversation." I said, turning away from Tara.

"You are just like her." She seethed.

"I will take that as a compliment." I said over my shoulder. "Bye Tara."

I shook my head as I walked away from her, she was like a dog with a bone. I wondered around for a few minutes before I heard the loud laughter of Tig. I followed the familiar sound and came to stand next to Jax.

"What did she want?" He asked quietly as he slid an arm around my waist.

"We'll talk about it later." I said.

"What did who want?" Clay asked.

"Just Tara being a pain in my ass again." I shrugged. The others nodded not Gema just looked at me. I gave her a pointed look and she nodded, already guessing about the topic of my conversation with Tara. I relaxed beside Jax, enjoying the flow of conversation and laughter from the people around me. I drug Jax on a few more rides and he and Chibs won me a couple

More stuffed toys. It was late by the time I pulled back into my driveway, exhausted, I stripped down and climbed into bed with my new prizes.


	11. Chapter 11

Hello people! I am pretty happy with this chapter and where things a headed. Just a heads up, as I mentioned before, the next couple of chapters deal with the Fun Town episode which is about sexual assault. I don't go into detail, but I wanted to let you guys known since it is a trigger for some.

Besides that, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I will hopefully have another one up in the next few days!

As always, let me know what you think! Reviews feed the Muses!

DDM

The library was blessedly quiet the next morning, Mindy was manning the front desk while I was putting back the returns, taking my time and enjoying the quiet. Our library wasn't very large but it fit our little town nicely. We had some people who came to check out books religiously, others who just wondered in to look and high school students just looking for someplace quiet to study. It was my little slice of paradise.

Just before noon I went back to the front of the library, Mindy was already getting her stuff ready to leave since we always close early on Sunday.

"Any plans?" She asked as I locked the front doors.

"Just dinner at Gema's," I shrugged. "You?"

"I have a date!" She said excitedly.

"With who?" I asked, pleased for her.

"His name is Dereck and he is so sweet and so nice."

"He better be!" I said, laughing. "Have fun!"

"You to!" She hugged me and we went our separate ways.

I was making myself a sandwich when there was a knock on my front door. Confused, I went to open it. The people that usually visit me either have a key or just walk right in.

"Oh," I said, surprised to see who was standing in my steps.

"Hi Lily," Said Hale. "Do you have a minute?"

"Sure, come on in." I held the door open.

I lead him over to the couch and we sat.

"What can I do for you?" I couldn't think of any reason why he would be here.

"I wanted to talk to you about my cousin." He said.

"Is there paperwork I need to fill out?" I asked.

"That's the thing," he said hesitantly. "I was hoping I might be able to talk you out of pressing charges."

"Why?" I asked, eyes narrowing.

"She made a bad decision, Lily. We all do it."

"She attacked me." I said.

"I know, but..."

"But what?" I asked, cutting him off.

"She has agreed to go to anger management and therapy to work on herself." He said.

"So you want me to what, exactly? Let bygones be bygones." I was getting more and more irritated.

"I know what she did to you was wrong..."

"If one of the club members did something like that you would be looking to put them in a cell and throw away the key." I snapped.

"But She isn't like them," he snapped back.

"No, they don't attack people when their backs are turned like cowards."

"Look, I have enough to deal with right now after what happened last night at Fun Town, I don't need to handle you and Deb on top of that." He said tiredly.

"What happened at Fun Town?" I asked, confused.

"Elliot Oswald's daughter was found last night, she's was assaulted."

"Oh my god." My hand covered my mouth. I worked hard to try and block out the dark memories that were trying to take over after hearing this news. The damage done to my face was nothing compared to that, I knew first hand. "You focus on finding the bastard responsible for that, don't worry about me."

"I really appreciate this Lily." He said with a small smile.

"And I will really appreciate it when you look the other way if I happen to punch Deb again if she starts in with me."

"I'll see what I can do." He chuckled, standing. "Also, I know Elliot has talked to the club but..."

"I don't know anything about that." I cut him off.

"Ok," he didn't look convinced but let it go.

I heard the sound of a motorcycle approaching as I opened the front door. I glanced down the street and saw Jax coming this way. When I turned back to Hale he was watching me curiously.

"Thanks again," he said and leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I really appreciate it."

I stared after him, dumbfounded as he got into his Jeep and pulled out of my driveway just before Jax pulled in. The dark look he was giving the Jeep told me he had seen what Hale had done. He yanked off his helmet and strode up the walk.

"Hey baby." He said, scowl in place, body tense.

"Hi." I turned to go back inside.

"You and Hale?" He asked as he followed me into the kitchen.

"Hardly," I laughed.

"I saw him kiss you." He said. I could see him trying hard to keep a cap on his temper and I appreciated that.

"He came by to ask me to drop the charges on Deb." I said, hopping up onto the counter, next to my abandoned sandwich. I wasn't hungry anymore. "He told me he has a lot on his plate."

"I bet he does." He scowled.

"He told me about Elliot's daughter." I said softly, feeling tears start to well up. I had held my ground really well with Hale but now the horrible memories of my own past were flashing in my mind.

"Hey," Jax said quickly, coming to stand in front of me. He pulled me to the edge of the counter, standing between my legs and wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face in his shoulder, clinging to him while I tired to get my mind under control.

"Nothing is going to happen to you," he murmured in my ear. "We got that bastard, he is gone now and he isn't coming back and whoever this asshole is won't get anywhere near you."

"Maybe I should go see her." I said softly as I sat up straight again.

"Not a chance." He said firmly, wiping a tear off my face with his thumb. "I want you to stay out of this one. Hale is on it, but Oswald came and asked for the clubs help with this to. We will find this asshole just like we found the other one and he will disappear to."

"But..."

"Lily, let this one go." He said. "If it makes you feel better, I will tell mom to tell them they can contact you if they need help after all this is over. There is to much going on right now for me to worry about what this will do to you."

"What else is going on?" I asked.

"You heard about Wendy?" He asked, I nodded. "There is that shit, and we met with the Irish yesterday about the guns."

"How did it go?" I asked, glad to have something else to think about.

"Not good," he sighed. "We told them about what happened and that we will be down for a few months. They said they can't wait that long. Unless we can come up with the money for the next shipment, they will look for buyers elsewhere."

"Oh no. What are you going to do?"

"We are not sure yet." He shook his head. "It would be easier if we just stopped the guns all together."

"How would you make your money?" I asked, curious. I've grown up around the club almost as much as Jax, they have always run guns.

"Not sure. Something legit though, so we wouldn't have to worry about people like ATF." He said.

"I am sure you will come up with something." I said.

"Why did Hale kiss you?" He asked and I sighed, back again.

"He kissed me on the cheek, probably as a thank you for dropping the Deb shit. I don't have the energy for it anyway." I shrugged.

"Only on the cheek?" He asked.

"Yes, Jackson!" I said, frustrated. "Could we please move on."

"Fine." He said finally. "Tara called me today."

Oh boy.

"Oh, what did she want?" I asked as I pushed on his shoulder, getting him to take a step back from me so I could slide off the counter.

"She wanted me to know that Wendy was out of detox, if I wanted to come see her." He was watching me as I got a glass of water, my usual distraction while I gather my thoughts.

"That was nice of her."

"She told me about her theory about how Wendy got the drugs." He continued.

"Yeah, she mentioned it at Fun Town." I nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded.

"She just brought it up last night, besides it's only a half cocked theory." I said firmly.

"She said you didn't seem surprised when she brought it up, that you were probably in on it."

"I was out of commission for a few days following your jealousy fiasco, I didn't even know anything happened to Wendy until your mom came to see me."

"Did she do it?" He asked.

"Does it matter?" I asked right back.

"You are keeping secrets from me, and I don't like it." He said heatedly.

I turned to frown at him.

"Jax, You should just talk to your mom."

"I'm talking to you." He insisted.

"Would you be mad if I told you she did?" I asked.

"I...I don't know." He sighed. "I wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't be mad at you."

He sat down in one of my kitchen chairs and gestured me forward. I sat on his knee and waited.

"Why would she do that?" He asked, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"There isn't anything that woman wouldn't do to protect her family." I said simply.

"Do you agree with what she did?" He looked up at me.

"I will tell you the same thing I have told her, Hale when we are talking about the Oswald girl, and Tara, there is a special place of Hell for people who hurt children. I think Wendy belongs in that place. I don't necessarily agree with the way your mom went about it, but I don't disagree that Wendy should go away and never come back."

He leaned his forehead against my shoulder.

"What happened to Able, that's on me to." He said softly. "When Wendy told me she was pregnant, I hated her. I wasn't ready to be a dad, especially not with her. I bailed."

"You are right." I agreed. "It is on you to. You both made choices and now you have to deal with the consequences. You chose to not be there, and she chose to continue poisoning herself and her baby. Now all you can do is move forward."

"I'm trying." He said.

"Have you gone to see her?" I asked. He just shook his head.

"You should. You need to talk to your mom." I suggested.

"I will, tonight at dinner."

"Don't tell her I told you." I said, not wanted to get on Gema's bad side, but on the same hand, feeling like this was definitely something Jax should know.

"I won't. I'll start it the same as I did with you, Tara called me." He promised.

"I wish she would leave me alone and stop trying to make my life harder."

He laughed and I scowled down at him.

"I doubt she will be that generous."

"Why did she even come back to Charming? She hates it here."

"Her dad died, she came back to clean out the house." He said.

"So maybe she will sell it and leave again." I said, sounding a little to hopefully.

"Maybe." He nodded.

"How do you feel having her back and being an active part of your life again?"

"I wouldn't really call her active," he said. "I try to only talk to her about Able, her calling me about Wendy was the first time she has contacted me outside the hospital."

I stood up and went to put my glass in the sink.

"Does she want to get back together?" I asked curiously.

"Doesn't matter, it won't happen." He shrugged.

"Why not?" I crossed my arms and leaned back against the sink, genuinely curious. He had been so in love with her when they were together, absolutely devastated when she left.

"There is no trust there." He said. "When she didn't get what she wanted, she left, without even saying goodbye. She hates the club, always has. She tried to get me go leave it and go with her to Chicago when she went to college. When I said I wanted to get patched in She was mad and just vanished. Tore me apart. I won't let her do that shit again."

"I remember." I nodded. "You were an extra pain in the ass for more than a year after that."

He grinned.

"Yeah I am sure I was. Having you around helped. You've always been there, never judging, just supporting. Even when I was drowning myself in booze and pussy, you were always there when I needed it."

"Of course I was," I said. "That's what family does."

I glanced at the clock, it was almost 4:30.

"Speaking of family, we need to get to your mom's." I said.

"You want to ride with me, or take your cage?"

I hesitated, I didn't usually ride with him, but Gema's words were still bouncing around in my head. Maybe keeping Jax at arms length could shorten just a little to somewhere around elbows length.

"I'll ride with you, as long as you don't mind bringing me home after." I said.

He looked at me, big smile fixed on his face.

"Sure!"

I didn't bother grabbing my purse, just my key ring. Jax handed me his helmet and I climb on behind him. The ride to Gema's only took about 10 minuets but being on the back of a bike was very relaxing. Jax parked his bike among the other couple that were already there and we went inside


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys! Here's the next chapter!

I tried to give a little bit of background about Lily and how she got to know the club. I've rewritten this chapter a few times but can't seem to be completely satisfied with it. This is the one I liked best and I knew I would never get it posted if I help scrapping it and starting over.

As always, let me know what you guys think!

DDM

I smiled as I smelt the wonderful aroma of lasagna. I went to the kitchen while Jax wondered off to the living room.

"Beer?" I called over my shoulder.

"Please." He said as he went to join the guys.

"Hey Gema." I said as I went to the fridge and pulled out a beer.

"Hey," she looked at the beer in my hand. "Since when do you drink?"

"It's not mine." I shrugged as I opened the drawer I knew held the bottle opener. I took the beer into the living room and greeted the guys as I handed the bottle to Jax.

"Making any progress on the Oswald girl?" I asked, leaning against the arm of the couch next to Jax. He wrapped his arm around my hips as the guys shifted uncomfortably.

"Not yet." Clay said finally. "Still working on it. We've got the prospect tailing Hale."

"You'll catch him." I said confidently. If anyone could get their hands on him it was the guys.

"Lily, could you give me a hand?" Gema's voice came from the kitchen. I pulled away from Jax and smiled at the room full of men in leather.

"When you do," I said, gaining their attention again. "Make it hurt."

They nodded seriously, all knowing about what had been done to me. They were to reason I was no longer afraid. I knew he was gone, and he was never coming back.

I entered the kitchen to see Gema was pulling a large pan out of the oven.

"What do you need?" I asked.

"Could you butter the garlic bread and stick it in for me." She asked as she poked at her steaming pan of lasagna before putting tinfoil over the top.

"Sure."

I went about my task, buttering several slices of this bread before she spoke again.

"How are you doing with knowing about the Oswald girl?" She asked.

"I'm ok." I said. "A little on edge knowing that man is still out there, but not afraid like I used to be."

"Good." She said firmly.

"The guys will get him."

"Yes they will." She agreed.

"Have you talked to her mother?" I asked.

"Yes, Karen has built a wall around that girl. I think she remembers more than she is telling."

"Maybe I should go..."

"Not a chance." She said, cutting me off and echoing Jax's words from earlier. "I know Jax wants you to stay away from this. No need drudging up old shit for you."

"I guess. You should go talk to Karen again though, if you feel like she is hiding something." I suggested.

"Why?"

"If that girl really remembers and her mother wants to keep it quiet, that's not healthy. Keeping it feeling as unreal as possible, burring it instead of facing things, it will only hurt her in the future. Trust me, the only thing worse than everyone knowing, is no one knowing." I said softly as I slid the tray of buttered garlic bread into the oven. I stood up and found Gema looking at me sadly. Thankfully, she knew better than to pity me, I didn't respond well to pity.

"I'll talk to her." She agreed finally.

"Good."

"Could you finish chopping the veggies for the salad?"

I smiled, glad we had moved on from the topic. We settled into a comfortable silence, me chopping, her storing something on the stove.

A throat cleared and we both turned to see Jax standing in the entrance between the kitchen and the dining room.

Oh god, he wasn't going to do it now, was he? Please tell me he has enough sense to at least wait until after dinner.

"Ma, we need to talk."

He was!

I glanced up at the ceiling, begging for patience. We are going to have a serious talk about his timing.

"Sure baby, what's up?" She asked, looking at him over her shoulder.

"I'll give you guys a minute." I said, putting my knife down.

"No," he said firmly. "This may concern you to, stay."

Damn.

"Tara called me," he said, focusing back on his mom.

"Oh yeah, what did she want?" Gema asked with the tone she seemed to reserve especially for Tara.

"She wanted to tell me Wendy was out of detox."

"Yeah, she told me that to, when I was at the hospital today. Suggested I bring the junkie flowers."

"Ma," he said warningly.

"Sorry." She rolled her eyes.

"She has an interesting theory about how Wendy got the drugs."

"Does she?"

I'll give her credit, the woman was a marvelous actress.

"Want to tell me why she thinks You brought Wendy that shit?"

"She always thinks things are my fault." Gema shrugged.

"Clay know what you did?" He asked instead. Gema finally turned to face him, frowning. "She said you were in on it to." He looked at me.

"What?" I scowled.

"She was not." Gema snapped.

"So you did do it." He said and she sighed.

"I gave her an option, that's all. She is the one weak enough to take it."

"Ma, you can't just do shit like that, what were you thinking?" He said sounding irritated. I am glad we had talked about this before hand or I would be looking for a window to jump out of right about now.

"I think the bread is about done." I said, hoping to stop them from continuing.

It didn't work.

"I was protecting my family. That woman caused you nothing but grief and she will do the same for Abel if we let her. She doesn't deserve to even breath his air." Gema said heatedly.

"I agree." I said, deciding to throw in my two cents if this was going to go on.

"Thank you!" Gema said, gesturing at me.

"You think what she did was the right thing?" Jax folded his arms.

"Maybe not the method, but I can't argue with the reasoning." I shrugged and dumped the chopped veggies into the salad bowl.

"Don't pull shit like that again." He said to Gema after a moment of silence. "Thankfully Tara doesn't have anything but a theory, without evidence she can't take something like that to Hale."

"Fine," Gema said, pulling the bread out of the oven.

"Hey!" Juice joined us in the kitchen, cell phone in hand. "The prospect called, said the cops have run into a raid block."

"What happened?" Jax turned his attention to the other man and Gema and I shared relieved looks.

"Hale pissed off Mrs. Oswald at the hospital. Questioned the girl without her permission. She has put a hard stop to anyone coming to talk to her."

"That'll buy us some time."

"That's good," I said. "Juice could you set the table."

The tattooed man nodded and grabbed the pile of plates on the counter, leaving the three of us in the kitchen.

"I'll go by the hospital after dinner and see Karen." Gema said. "Maybe I can get her to talk now that she is done with the police."

Thankfully, after the conversation with Jax and Gema, dinner went nice and smooth. No other heavy topics were brought up, nothing serious needing to be discussed, just nice family time. The guys were eager to get back to the search so no one lingered long after the food was gone.

I was taking dishes to the kitchen when Gema stopped me.

"I'll get them later,"she said. "I am going to head over to the hospital."

"I'll meet you there, after I drop Lily off." Jax said, coming up beside me.

"How about you guys go and I will stay here and clean up." I suggested.

"Are you sure?" Jax asked, but I could tell he was getting antsy and needed to get out.

"Yeah, I don't mind." I nodded.

"You can just crash in Jax's old room if we are out to late." Gema said as she picked up her purse.

"Sounds like a plan." I said. "Be careful."

They both kissed me on the cheek as they left and I went back to gathering the plates from the dining room. I made piles next to the sink then focused on putting the small portion of left overs in containers and neatly in the fridge. When Gema made lasagna, there were hardly ever leftovers, the guys sure could eat.

I kept myself busy, washing all the plates, cups, silverware and cooking pots. Drying everything by hand as I went to make the task take that much longer. When I finally finished it was pretty late. I wondered upstairs and into the bedroom that used to belong to Jax. Finding an old SAMCROW shirt in a drawer, I stripped down before pulling it over my head. Putting my phone on the night stand, I climbed into the bed and lay down.

I stared up at the ceiling as I tired to relax. My thoughts were going in so many different directions. Most prevalent were the thoughts about my own attack that happened a few years ago. I used to have dreams about it constantly just after of happened, knowing the man was out there somewhere.

The best thing I ever did was finally tell Jax about what happened. He had been able to tell instantly that something was wrong with me, something was very wrong. That had been a horrible conversation.

I had never seen him so angry and it was terrifying. Even knowing it wasn't directed at me.

After I told him, and gave him permission to tell the club, it didn't take them long to find the man who had hurt me. Thanks to them, I knew for a fact the man was never going to be able to hurt me or anyone else again. They made sure I always felt safe, riding by my house several times a day, coming to see me at the library, hanging out at my house when I wasn't at the club house.

Part of the reason I offered to stay here, even though I wasn't in danger, was because I knew that I was safe in the Marrow house.

Finally, I was able to relax enough, focusing on my breathing and went to sleep.

I don't know how long I slept before my brain registered a difference in the bed. I panicked for a brief moment, feeling a body behind me, an arm around my waist.

"Easy," It was Jax's voice.

"Jax?" I just needed a little reassurance.

"It's just me," he said against my hair. "We got him, baby, we got him."

I sighed in relief, rolling over to face him. He pulled me close and held me against his bare chest.

"He's gone?"

"Yeah."

"Did you make it hurt?"

"Oh yeah." He said firmly.

"Good." I sighed, snuggling closer and relaxing back into sleep.

I was confused when I woke up the next morning.

This isn't my room...

I sat up and looked around. I heard breathing beside me and turned to see Jax asleep on his side, facing me.

That's right, I'm at Gema's house. My brain was always slow in the morning.

I carful slid out of the bed, not wanting to wake Jax and grabbed my shorts. Leaving on my too-big SAMCROW shirt, I made my way downstairs, following the smell of food to the kitchen.

"Morning." Gema said from the stove.

"Morning," I yawned as I ran a hand through my hair. "Need help?"

"Grab the bacon out of the fridge," she pointed with her spatula. "So, I saw you and Jax snuggled up this morning."

I scowled at her while she opened to back of bacon.

"My brain isn't awake enough for this," I said, yawning again. I went over the the cabinet and pulled out plates and glasses, putting them on the table before getting the glass pitcher of orange juice out of the fridge. The sound of large feet on the stairs told me that Jax, and from the sounds of it, Clay, had been woken my the smell of breakfast.

"Morning." Jax said as he gave both me and his mom a kiss on the cheek.

"Coffee?" Clay grunted, at least I am not alone in not being a morning person.

"How'd you sleep?" Jax asked after we finished eating, helping to dry the dishes I was currently washing.

"Really well," I smiled. "Did I dream it or did you say you got him?"

"We did." He already knew who I was talking about.

"Excellent!" I finished the last dish. Being here in his parents house, sleeping, eating breakfast, cleaning, it all felt very domestic and dare I even think it...comfortable.

I haven't stayed at the Marrow house since high school when my parents had needed to go out of town. Jax and I were just becoming good friends at that point. He was a junior and I was a freshman, but we had known each other for years since my parents had been friends of the club going all the way back to the First 9. He had been on the basketball team, I had spent my lunch periods in the school library. We were an unlikely pair, but we got on well.

"Could you give m a ride home?" I asked. "I have to work this afternoon."

"Sure, we can go whenever you are ready." He nodded.

"Let me just say goodbye to your mom."

I went to the living room and found Gema sitting in a chair, feeding treats to that bird she loves so much, Clay was reading the news paper.

"Jax is going to take me home." I said from the door way, not wanting to intrude on their quiet space. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"No problem." Gema said. "You know you are welcome any time."

Clay nodded in a agreement, glancing at me from behind his paper.

"I'll see you both later."

I strapped on Jax's helmet and climbed onto the bike behind him, wrapping my arms around him I leaned against his back and closed my eyes. I allowed the lean and sway of the bike to relax me as we made our way to my house. Riding on a bike was something that I discovered I enjoyed after the first time Jax gave me a ride when he first got the bike.

He had been so proud. Newly Patched, he had pulled up outside my parents house and revved the engine of the shiny black machine. My mother had rolled her eyes and mumbled something about 'bad boys' as I went outside to congratulate my friend. I had been nervous the first time I sat on the motorcycle, but Jax had gone slow until I got comfortable. After that, it became one of my favorite things to do.

The rides had come to a stop not long after. Tara had seen us while we were on a lazy cruise one afternoon and had thrown a fit. I hadn't been present during that fight but the guys that had been in the club house during it told me it had been epic.

"Come stop by the club after work." He said when I climbed off the bike and handed him his helmet.

"I will," I nodded. "I get out around 5."

We said our goodbyes and I went inside to change into something more suited to work, a SAMCROW shirt that was to big for me wasn't going to cut it.


	13. Chapter 13

Here is the next one guys! Sorry it's been a while but that's life!

I am already working on the next chapter! If I get some reviews, I may be inspired to post it later today or tomorrow!

This was written on my phone so please forgive any mistakes. Autocorrect is not a writers friend.

As always, let me know what you guys think!

DDM

The library was cool when I walked in, a welcome relief from the heat of the California sun. Mindy was sitting behind the desk, clicking away on the computer.

"Hey!" I said as I rounded the desk. "How was your date?"

"It was so nice!" She beamed at me as she swiveled around to face me. "We went to a really nice restaurant in Oakland, then went out dancing!"

"I am glad." I said as I put my purse beneath the counter. "You can head off early if you want."

"Really?" She looked excited.

"Yeah, I've dumped a lot of crap on you lately and you have been such a huge help. Go home and relax or call this new guy and go to a movie."

"What if it gets busy." She said.

"When does it ever?" I asked with a laugh. "Besides, it's Monday. Only the Monday regulars and senior studying for finals will be in today. Go enjoy yourself."

"Thanks!" She stood up and hugged me before gathering all of her stuff.

Her heels clicked on the hardwood floor as she hurried out the door, waving at me over her shoulder as I took her place behind the desk.

True to form, I only saw a handful of people walk into my sanctuary.

Mrs. Pierson, here to return last weeks books and pick up her set for this week.

Mr. Kneeler checked out a new audio book.

Two senior boys who went to sit in the back of the library to study.

When 5pm finally rolled around, I had gotten all of the books put back on the shelves and all of my little tasks done. I locked the library and climbed into my car, heading to the garage.

When I pulled in and parked, I went over to where Gema was standing, arms folded, glare firmly in place. I followed her gaze to see Jax and Tara were standing next to an older car.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Supposedly she is just here to get her dads old car looked at." She narrowed her eyes further. Just then, Jax looked in our direction and grinned when we made eye contact. Tara looked over her shoulder at me and glared. To my surprise, they both began walking this way, still talking.

"Hey," Jax greeted me.

"Hey." I smiled at him.

"So, do you think you could give me a ride home, since I have to leave the Cutless here?" Tara ignored the fact Gema and I were standing right in front of her.

"Sorry darlin', I am leaving town in a minute," Jax said. I rolled my eyes at the use of his generic female endearment. Oddly enough, that casual term had never been applied to me.

"Oh," she frowned.

"Where are you going?" I asked, inserting myself into the conversation.

"Just to see Uncle Jury." He looked at me.

"Nevada?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"Ma," Jax looked at Gema, breaking the staring contest between her and Tara. "Could you give Tara a ride home?"

"No, that's ok..." Tars tried to get out of it.

"Sure," Gema cut her off. "I'd be happy to give the good doctor a ride home."

"Thanks." Tara didn't sound pleased.

"I'll see you later." Jax told her.

"Who should I call," she asked suddenly. "If there is a problem with Abel?"

"I thought he was getting better." Jax said sounding worried.

"He is," she said quickly. "Just in case, you know."

"Oh, if you need anything and I am not back yet, call Lily or Mom, they are both on the contact list." He shrugged.

"Ok," she gave me a nasty look before she turned on her heel and walked toward Gema's car. She tossed her bag in as Gem followed after her, giving Jax a quick kiss on the cheek as she passed. I watched Gema slid gracefully into the driver seat as Sack called Tara over to sign some papers. I rolled my eyes when I noticed Gema take advantage of the situation and appeared to be reaching for Tara's purse.

"Why are you going to Nevada?" I asked as I looked back at Jax.

"Going for a visit, he is having a Mayan problem. Hoping that if we help him, he might be able to help us with a place to stash and assemble the guns." He said.

"That far up in Nevada is Mayan territory." I frowned. "Is that really a good idea?"

"It'll be fine," he said. "Bobby and I are going to go, keep under the radar and talk to him."

"You think he will be able to help?"

"Yeah, Dad saved his ass, he owes the Tellers. Plus he has always been an ally to the club."

"Still, after what you guys did to get back the guns the Mayans took, it seems risky to ride into their territory and not expect them to know."

"I know," he stepped closer to me and put an arm around my waist. "We will be careful, it shouldn't take more than a couple days at the most."

I leaned against him and sighed.

"You better be," I said. "My guess is that the Mayans will be crawling all over the NV border, you will be lucky if you can make it the whole way undetected."

"Jax!" We turned to see Bobby waving from by the bikes. "Ready when you are, brother."

"Yeah, coming." He nodded before turning back to me. "I'll call you when I get there."

"Ok, be safe." I stepped back but he followed, stepping forward.

He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine. This time I didn't try to push him away, kissing back for a second then stepping back from him again.

He grinned down at me.

"Go, before Bobby leaves without you." I said giving him a little push as he continued to smile at me.

"I saw that." Said a female voice behind me. I whirled around and came face go face with Jessica, one of the older crow eaters. She is less around for the guys now, more here to help Gema and keep things running smoothly.

"Hey Jess," I greeted as she came up and gave me a hug.

"So, you two are finally giving it a go?" She asked as she bumped her shoulder against mine.

"I don't know," I sighed. "Things are still jumbled but we might be moving in that direction. We haven't talked about it."

"What's to talk about?" She asked. "The whole club sees you as his Old Lady, has for a long time. Nothing to do but make it official."

"There is a lot going on, between the club and Abel, I don't want to jump into anything and find out it was a decision made due to stress." I said honestly. Jessica has always been a good person to talk to when I need to work through things. She is impartial. As much as I love Gema, and I do talk to her about just about everything, she isn't a neutral sounding board when I need to work through Jax related thoughts.

As his mother, she is very 'Pro-Jax', and sometimes I need someone who will just listen.

"Honey, you and that boy have been dancing around one another for years." She said. "If you decide to give it an official try, then do it. Don't let fear hold you back."

The more I heard it, the more appealing it was sounding. My biggest issue was the idea of him not being able to be with just me, but what if Gema was right. If I gave it a real chance and laid out what I wanted and what he wanted...could we make it work? Maybe I will use the time he is gone to seriously think about it.

Maybe it was time for a change...

After talking to Jessica, I made my way home, weighing pros and cons the whole drive. When I pulled up to my house, I hadn't come to any concrete decisions but I was leaning more towards the 'pro' category. We would need to have a serious talk about expectations and rules if we were going to give things an official try. There wasn't any point in entering into anything more serious if we didn't both want the same things.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about Jax going up into Mayan territory with only Bobby as back up. I trust Bobby, but two against an entire club isn't exactly the best of odds.

I decided to do laundry and clean in order to help myself relax. My house was spotless and I was cooking a late dinner when my cell phone rang.

"Hey." I answered as I dumped the last bit of veggies in my homemade chicken noodle soup, setting the temperature down to let it simmer.

"Hey," Jax's voice came through the phone.

"How was the ride?"

"Not to bad."

"Under the radar?" I asked, doubting it.

"Not exactly." He sounded so nonchalant and I rolled my eyes.

"Figured," I said. "How is Jury?"

"He could be better." He sighed, sounding tired.

"What's wrong?"

"Clay wants to bring the Devil's Tribe into the fold."

"Patch over?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, Clay made the call today. He and the guys are on their way up now."

"Jesus." I shook my head.

"He is making a mistake." Jax said firmly.

"Why do you think that?"

"These guys, they aren't SAMCROW material. They won't be able to stand up to the weight of wearing the Reaper."

"Well, maybe they will surprise you." I suggested, though it sounded like he had already made up his mind.

"Maybe," he didn't sound convinced. "In any case, they will be able to help us with the guns, we get a foothold in Nevada and they get protection from the Mayans, so I guess everyone wins."

"How many members do they have?" I asked as I stirred my soup.

"Almost twenty I think. They are making big time money up here, that's why they have attracted Mayan heat. I figure they are out for the Tribe because they know they are affiliated with us and going after them was just a way of forcing our hand."

"I am sure it will all turn out in the end."

"Yeah, I just don't feel right patching them over, then leaving them to deal with the Mayans themselves. They will probably lose some guys because of all this and that will leave them vulnerable."

"Clay is set on it?" I asked.

"Yeah..." He sighed. "Bobby said the club has noticed that I have been questioning him lately. He asked where my head having Abel and new priorities must be filling it full of noise that is distracting me."

"Where is you head?"

"I don't know," he paused and I heard him take a drag of a cigarette. "I found something in dads old stuff when I was in the storage unit looking for things for Abel."

"What was it?"

"Its a manuscript he wrote, about why they started SAMCROW, what it became and where he wanted it to go. It's all kind of confusing. Makes me question some shit I haven't considered before."

"How about we talk about it when you get back. If Bobby thinks you are questioning Clay, might be better not to talk about it where he can hear."

"You are probably right." I heard him give a big exhale, probably of smoke.

"I often am." I said playfully, wanting to lift some of his tension.

"Jax?" I heard a new female voice say, and I frowned. "Are you coming back in?"

"I'll be in in a minute." He snapped.

"Whose that?" I asked, though I wasn't sure i wanted to know.

"No one important." He said strongly.

"Ok," I allowed. "Have fun at the Patch Over party, and we will talk more about your dad when you get back."

"Ok, but it'll be boring without you here." He said, I could hear the smile in his voice.

"That's the sweetest lie you've told yet." I laughed, poking fun at him.

"I do what I can." He laughed and I heard some of the tension leave his voice.

"Will you have to stay longer now that the Tribe is being patched over?"

"Nah, they won't need us after that. Tig and Juice are on their way with the guns and Clay and the others should be here soon. We'll patch, party, then leave after we drop the guns at the new place."

"Be safe." I said as I tasted my soup.

"I will." He said.

"Ok, have fun."

"I'll call you tomorrow."

We hung up and I dished myself out some dinner, sitting on the couch and flipping to the Food Network.

I couldn't help but wonder what JT had written that had Jax so tied up in knots. I remember him been a very kind man, always looking out for his family. Jax has inherited his charisma as well as his eyes.

It was so sad to watch him fade after Thomas passed. He was a shell of the man he once was. He and Gema has drifted apart, her getting closer to Clay as JT pulled away. I remember watching my mother cry in the kitchen when she was told he had died, and how.

Had he written whatever Jax was reading before his son had died, or as the man he became after. Was it the reason Jax had brought up wanting the club to go more legit?

I finished my dinner and decided to crash for the night and leave my questions for when Jax got back and we talked. No use driving myself crazy trying to put the puzzle together with only a few pieces.


	14. Chapter 14

It's a day late but it's out! I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! They are my motivation to keep writing!

This one is a little bit short but I figured it was a decent place to stop! Next chapter should be out in the next couple of days!

As always, let me know what you think! Reviews feed the muses!

DDM

I was locking up the library when my phone buzzed. I reached into my back pocket and saw I had a text from Gema.

'Meet me at St Thomas, will be with Abel.'

I stepped out of the elevator and made my way to Abel's room, nodding and smiling at the nurses and doctors I passed. I found Gema right where she said she would be, sitting in the chair and reading Abel a book.

"Hey," I greeted her as I closed the door.

"Hey," she closed the book.

"What are you reading him?" I asked as I came to stand next to her.

"Peter Rabbit," she smiled down at the book. "It was one of Jax's favorites when he was little."

"I am sure Abel loves it to."

"Have you heard from Jax?" She asked, turning in the chair to face me.

"Yeah, he called last night."

"Typical," She huffed.

"What?"

"Clay was supposed to call me when he got there to tell me how Jax is doing. I didn't think it was a good idea to have him go to Nevada with a new baby." She scowled.

"He seemed fine," I assured her. "He told me about the patch over."

"Yeah, Clay told me yesterday too. That's when I told him to call me. I threatened to show up, if he didn't but I figured you would have heard from him."

"I can see you doing that." I laughed.

"I would too!"

"I don't doubt it." I grinned. "He was fine when I talked to him, tired I think, but looking forward to the party."

"I can just imagine the kind of trouble they could get into."

"What do you mean?"

"Jury's business, it's running pussy in upstate Nevada. Tig was devastated when he found out that he wouldn't be there for the party."

"Oh." I frowned and crossed my arms while Gema watched me carefully.

"You could set the rules..." She said after a moment of silence.

"Gema..." I sighed, going over the Abel and putting my hand in his box, his tiny fingers wrapped around one of mine.

"I'm just saying."

"I'll talk to him." I said finally, still looking at the baby.

"You will?" She sounded thrilled.

"Just talk," I said looking over my shoulder. "We need to find out if it's something we both want, and how we want it to go. If we don't want the same things, there is no use starting something that isn't going to go anywhere."

"That's fair." She said, nodding.

"What else is going on?" I asked.

"You still up to help with my fundraiser?"

"Of course! It's for the music program, right?"

"Yeah, for the middle school."

"I'll be there, just tell me what you want me to do." I wiggles Able's little hand, strong grip.

"Probably working the booth with me and LuAnn."

"How is the porn Queen?" I asked.

LuAnn was a nice woman. Her old man Auto has been inside for a real long time. She started out as a porn star, now she directs behind the camera instead of in front of it. She even owns her own studio. She tried, when I was younger, to convince me to work for her. Even if Jax hadn't thrown the worlds biggest fit when he heard, I still would have said no. I enjoy to watch the occasional porn, I have no interest in being in one.

"She's good. She did a little digging for me, on our favorite doctor."

"Oh god," I shook my head. "Anything turn up?"

"No, just that she filed for a restraining order, it didn't say who for though."

"Have you eaten?" I asked as I pulled my hand back after Abel let go of my finger.

"No."

"How about we go to the diner." I suggested. "Best not to talk about it when we are here."

"Sounds good," she put her book on the chair as she stood and came over to Abel. "I will see you tomorrow little man. We love you." She gently stoked his soft little arm.

"Yes we do." I agreed.

We left the room and stopped by the nurses station to let them know so they could have someone go check on him. They had been so great about giving us space to interact with the baby while not hovering. Tara was standing with the group of nurses, glaring at us while we spoke to Kelly, the woman who was usually checking in on him.

We ignored her.

The diner wasn't busy when we sat down, only a couple of tables were occupied. We were enjoying our meal when the bell over the door chimes and Gema looked up.

"Caption America, two o'clock," she said quietly.

"Hello, David." I said as he stopped next to our table.

"Lily, Gema," he nodded to us, arms crossing.

"What can we do for you?" I asked while Gema just watched.

"What happened to the Fun Town worker?" He asked without preamble.

"Who?" Gema asked.

"The man who attacked the Oswald girl."

"Not a clue." Gema said casually, I shook my head.

"I know Oswald talked to the club, the girl finally told us and do you know what we found when we got there?"

"Nope." I said as I popped a fry into my mouth.

"A group of carnies, beat to hell. They denied anything happened, even as they picked themselves up off the ground, but our guy was gone." He was obviously really frustrated if he came to us.

"Why ask us?" I asked him, "Why not ask the guys since you seem to think they did something."

"I would, but they all seem to be gone." He said through clenched teeth.

"Well we can't help you." Gema said.

"Fine." He said after a moment of us just looking at him.

"Will you be helping at the grill for the fundraiser coming up?" Gema asked him and I could see a muscle twitching in his jaw.

"Wouldn't miss it." He said, still looking angry. "Enjoy your dinner."

We watched him leave, picking up a bag on the counter and disappearing with a cheerful tinkle of a bell.

"That man is wound way to tight." I said.

"Yeah, he's just pissed off because Unser extended him position another 6 months." Gema said.

"I thought he was done."

"It was decided he needed to stay on." She shrugged.

"Did he decide that, or did Clay?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Who knows," she said with a smile as Destiny came over to refill our drinks. The woman walked away and my phone went off.

"Hey," Jax said in my ear.

"You forgot to call your mother." I said grinning at the woman across the table. "I just barley managed to stop her from driving up there to see you."

"How embarrassing would that shit have been." Gema huffed while Jax laughed in my ear.

"Thanks for that," he said.

"I thought I was going to have to slash her tires!" I said with an over exaggerated sigh. Now Gema laughed to.

"Just make sure to do all four so insurance will cover it."

"Well duh, three tire slashes are only meant for enemies! For family, you do all four."

"I am on my way back." He said still chucking at me. "We just stopped for gas, should be there in an hour or two."

"He'll be back tonight." I told Gema who was watching me impatiently now, she nodded.

"Sounds good. How was the party?"

"It was alright, the morning after was the exciting part."

"What happened?" I asked, dreading the answer already. I knew what his idea of excitement was.

"I went out for a morning ride to clear my head, got spotted by some Mayans. They followed me back to the club house, had ourselves an old fashioned Nevada shoot out, with modern fire power."

"Oh my god! Is everyone ok?"

Gema's head snapped around so fast I thought she might have given herself whiplash. I held up a finger, asking her silently to give me a second.

"Yeah, everyone's fine. It was more of a pissing contest than anything else. No one even got a scratch." He assured me. "Thinned our Jury's guys a little more though."

"I am glad everyone is ok." I said as I heard another voice call his name.

"Hey, I gotta go," he said. "We are heading out, I'll stop by your place when I get back. Going to go see the kid in the morning."

"Sounds good, ride safe."

"Always."

"Bye."

"Bye, baby."

I put my phone on the table and shook my head.

"Well?" Gema demanded. I glanced casually around the diner and saw we were the only ones left in it besides Destiny and she moonlighted as a crow eater so I wasn't worried about her repeating anything she might overhear.

"The ones who stayed got Patched in," I said. "But they had a shoot out with the Mayans in the morning. He said he went out for a drive and got spotted, they followed him back and they went at each other. He said it was just them pissing on their territory."

"Jesus." She said. "I knew it was a bad idea to let him go up there."

"He said everyone is fine.

"That's good at least."

"He and some of the guys should be here in an hour or so."

"Did he say if Clay was coming back with him."

"No." I shook my head.

"Those two have been in a weird place since Abel was born." She said.

"I am sure having a kid has changed the way he sees some things."

"Like what?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

"I don't have any examples, Gema. It was just a general statement."

"Any idea where his head is at?" She asked next.

"On his shoulders." I said instantly.

"Cute." She wasn't impressed.

"I don't know what to tell you," I huffed, refusing to give in on this. "He hasn't said anything out of the ordinary or troubling."

"Fine." She put some money on the table and we both slid out of our booth. We said good night to Destiny and left the diner. I unlocked my car and opened the door before turning back

To Gema.

"Let me know more about the fundraiser when you can," I said. "I'll do any job you need besides dressing up like Elvis."

"You are in luck, Bobby has cornered that particular market." She smirked at me. "I'll call you later."


	15. Chapter 15

Here we go! Pretty happy with this chapter!

Let me know what you think!

DDM

We said our goodbyes and parted, going on opposite directions. My house was blessedly quite when I stepped in, going straight for my room and my pajamas. I took a nice long shower, happy to let the water wash away any worries that I had. I was braiding my hair while sitting on my bed with the covers pulled up to my waist, when I heard the familiar sound of motorcycles approaching my part of the neighborhood. I could tell from the volume of noise that it was a gang of several bikes. The majority of the noise passed my house and moved on but one lingered. I listened as my front door opened and closed, the sound of Jax's sneakers on the hardwood as he came down the hall.

"You sleeping?" He asked.

"No, you can come in." I said with yawn.

He came in and sat down on the other side of the bed, leaning himself back against the headboard.

"So much for under the radar." I said, turning to face him.

"Yeah, a little more publicity than I would have liked but we got the job done." He said.

"Everyone is ok though? Even Jury's guys?"

"Not even a scratch." He nodded, yawning himself this time.

"Gema was asking me if Clay stayed in Nevada."

"I told him I wanted to come back and see the kid. They shouldn't have anymore issues for a while, this one was just the Mayans letting us know that they knew we were there."

"We can go see him in the morning." I said, biting my lower lip. "Do you want to stay, and we can go when we get up?"

He looked at me in surprise before a big smiles made its way across his face.

"I can stay?"

"Just to sleep." I said firmly.

"I can deal with that." He said before standing up from the bed. His kutte was taken off and draped over my chair in the corner, his rings placed on the night stand along with his phone and a gun. I watched him strip off his Kevlar vest and down to his boxers, not able to stop my eyes from traveling all over the expanse of tanned and tattooed skin now on display.

When he got back into the bed, I clicked the light off on my bedside table and lay down next to him. An arm reached out and I let him pull me against his side.

"I could get used to this." He said quietly.

"I think I could to," I said with another big yawn. "But we will have to talk about it."

"Rules?" He asked.

"Not just rules. I would want to know where you see it going. Would it just be short term or do you see it actually going somewhere in the long run?"

"I don't foresee you going anywhere I won't follow." He said simply.

I think my heart just melted a little.

"I already know it's what I want. It's what I have wanted for a long time." He admitted.

"I don't share, Jackson," I said, putting an arm over his chest and moving closer to rest my chin on it; the better to see his face in the moonlight.

"Neither do I." He said firmly.

"That includes when you are on the road."

"I can live with that. Any other rules?"

"I don't think so, at least for right now," I said softly. "That's a hard rule though. If it gets broken, that's it. No talking it over, no other chances, nothing. It will be done and we will go back to being just friends, though probably not quite as close."

"Ok." He said, arm tightening around my waist.

"I know you are used to living fast, but I'd really like to take things slow. We need to see if this is something we both really want."

"We'll take this at your pace. I can't promise not to be upset if you end up deciding you just want to be friends, but I promise not to get mad. Together or not, you will always be my best friend."

"Don't tell Opie that." I said playfully, he pinched my hip in retaliation and I laughed.

"That means no more kissing Hale." He said after I stopped laughing.

"Oh god, you know I didn't!" I said rolling my eyes. "He came to talk to Gema and I at the diner by the way."

"What did that prick want?"

"He wanted to know what happened to that Fun Town monster."

"Why come to you guys?" He asked, sounding irritated.

"Said he couldn't find you."

"Asshole."

"We just told him we didn't know anything." I shrugged with another big yawn.

"Go to sleep, babe," he said after a few beats of silence. "We'll go see the kid tomorrow."

"Alright," I snuggled closer and his grip tightened again. "I have to work in the afternoon."

"Yeah me to."

When I woke the next morning, my sleep fogged brain was confused when I couldn't seem to sit up. I blinked away the morning light and looked up to see Jax still fast asleep, holding tightly to me.

I watched him for a minute, thinking back to our conversation last night, both excited and a little nervous about this change. He looked so peaceful and relaxed I didn't want to wake him. It took me a few minutes to carefully wiggle myself free from him and made my way to the kitchen.

I was plating eggs and bacon when Jax came into the kitchen in just his jeans.

"Morning." I said, surprised when he walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed the side of my neck.

"Morning." He said, kissing the side of my head before pulling away. "Been wanting to do that for a long time."

"No arguments here," i smiled as I held up the plates. "Breakfast?"

"Definitely."

"Then we can go see Abel ."

We finished breakfast and went back to the bedroom to get dressed. I was shimmying on a pair of shorts when I saw Jax pick up His shirt from yesterday.

"There should be a SAMCROW shirt in that second draw," I said pointing to my dresser. He looked at me in surprise.

"You have something my size?" He asks skeptically.

"I sleep in it, so it's to big for me." I said as I went to my closet to grab a black tee shirt.

"Perfect," He said as I turned around. The shirt was a perfect fit for him but came down to my knees when I wore it. Curse my short legs!

"Bike or cage?" Jax asked as I locked the door behind us.

"Bike," I said, looking up at the clear blue sky. It was going to be a beautiful day. "You can just drop me off here after."

"Sure," he handed me his helmet. "I've got to come back this way to go see Opie anyway, he's got a crib he said I could have."

I climbed onto the back of the bike and wrapped my arms tightly around his middle, getting comfortable as he took off down the street.

The hospital parking lot was already busy as we pulled in and got off the bike. Jax took my hand as we made our way to the entrance.

"Jax," I tugged on his hand and nodded to the doors that had just opened.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" He said angrily as we approached the Nord leader.

"Teller," Darby said as he stopped on the sidewalk.

"What are you doing in Charming, Darby?" Jax demanded, letting go of my hand and wrapping his arm around my waist instead, pulling my closer.

"Cigs finally caught up to my mom." He said shrugging.

"Sorry to hear that." I said, bringing the Nord's attention to me, and wishing I hadn't. Darby and all his empty headed lackeys made my skin crawl.

"Looking good, Lily." He nodded and Jax pulled me slightly behind him.

"Fuck off, Darby." He snapped.

"Finally made her your Old Lady, huh?" Darby smirked. "To bad..."

"Jax, we should go see Abel." I said, quickly as he took a step toward the other man. I rubbed his arm trying to break through the furious tension I could feel running through him. He paused, then nodded and moved forward, shoving passed Darby on his way, pulling me behind him.

We made it to Abel's with no further issues and went inside. The room was dim and Abel was sleeping, he was wearing a SAMCROW beanie and just knew Gema had put it on him.

"When did she have time to get that made?" I asked with a laugh, Jax just shrugged.

"Hey, little man." He said, putting him hand in the unit and touching his little hand. I smiled as I watched him talk to his son. I looked over at the observation window and saw a man standing there, just watching us.

"Whose that?" I asked and Jax looked over as well.

"No clue." He frowned and went over to the door, I stayed put as he stepped up beside our onlooker. I couldn't hear what was said but I didn't like the way this new person carried himself. A few seconds later, the man just turned and walked off while Jax came back in.

"What did he want?" I asked.

"I don't know, he just said I had a beautiful family and walked off." He said as he closed the blinds.

"Creeper."

We stayed with Abel for a while, Jax read the Peter Rabbit book Gema had left while I sat on his lap. It was peaceful and calming but I knew it wouldn't last. We would have to leave this little room and it's tiny occupant and head back out into the turbulence that is our lives.

Jax dropped me off at my place and said he would call later. I went inside and finished getting ready for work, hoping for an uneventful day at the library.

Mindy was where she usually was, sitting at the front desk when I walked in.

"Hey!" She said, always one to be overly chipper.

"Hey," i said as I put my purse behind the counter. "How's it been?"

"Same as usual, nice and quiet."

"Good," I sat on the chair beside her. "Tell me about this guy."

"Derek," she said with a dreamy smile.

"I feel like we haven't talked in forever," I said. "Spill."

"He is so sweet and so nice."

"What does he do?"

"He works for at the court house."

"Where did you guys meet?"

"It's so embarrassing," she said with a laugh. "I was picking up my lunch at the diner and he was getting rung up at the register. I was checking to see if my order was right and literally ran into him. Spilled his coffee all down the front of his shirt!"

"Oh no!" I laughed.

"He was so sweet. I was apologizing and saying I would buy him another cup and pay for his dry cleaning but he just smiled at me and said the best way to repay him was to let him take me out for dinner!"

I shook my head, smiling and picked up a stack of books and put them on the empty cart behind the counter.

"I am glad you found someone." I said honestly.

"Now it's your turn." She laughed.

"Well, I think I did." I pushed the cart around the front side of the counter, ready to put the books back.

"No way! Who," She demanded looked stunned. "Whoever He is, you better hide him from Jax and the club."

"It is Jax." I said as casually as I could, not looking at her as I pushed the cart toward the row of fiction shelves. She didn't say anything until I was hidden by the tall wooden structure.

"No way!" She shouted. "Get back here! You can't drop a bomb like that then walk away!"

I laughed as I started to put the books away. When my pile was done, I ventured back to the front where Mindy was waiting impatiently.

"Well?" She has her arms crossed and was trying and failing to look intimidating.

"Well what?"

"Don't play innocent with me! When did this happen?" She was fighting back a smile.

"Relax Mind, we decided to give it a try just yesterday."

"Oh my god."

"Yeah."

"I am so happy for you!" She rushed around the counter and pulled me into a hug. "I am glad you guys finally decided to try! He would have made it impossible for you to date otherwise. He and the guys would have chased off anyone who dared to even try."

"They can be a little much." I agreed.

"This is so great!" She beamed, always enthusiastic.

"I think so to. We are going to give it a try and see how it works, if it doesn't, we will just go back to being friends."

"It will work out." She said.

"I hope so." I said honestly.


	16. Chapter 16

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a while. Couldn't quite get this chapter to cooperate the way I wanted, but I am pretty happy with it! It's a bit longer than usual so hopefully that makes up for my extended absence.

i hope you guys enjoy!

As always, let me know what you think!

DDM

The rest of the afternoon flew by and it was time to go home. My phone said 6:01pm when it rang with Gema's picture on it.

"Wow," I said as I answered. "You let me be off work a whole minute before you called. You are getting more patient."

"Hello to you to," She laughed.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Could you get to the fundraiser early tomorrow and help LuAnn and I set up? The bus from the nursing home will be there early and we have games to set up for the kids."

"Do I need to bring anything?" I asked as I climbed into my car.

"No, just yourself."

"I think I can manage that."

"Has Jax told you about the...extra guest, that should be there?"

"No, I haven't talked to him since we went to see the kid this morning."

"He went early? He isn't usually an earlier riser, would have had to get up extra early to pick you up to." She sounded surprised.

"Not if he was already at my house," I said. "Who is the guest?"

"You remember... wait, why was he already there?" She demanded.

"He stayed the night," I said as casually as possible. "Now Who is coming."

"You aren't getting out of this that easy!" She said and I rolled my eyes as I pulled into my drive ways. "He stayed at your place last night?"

"Yes."

"He hasn't done that for a long time."

"I know."

"Was something wrong?"

"No."

"Well?" She asked doggedly.

"We talked..."

"And?"

"We decided to give it a try." I said finally.

"Good!" She said happily. "You set out your rules?"

"Yeah, the most important one anyway."

"And he agreed to them."

"Yes, and I will tell you the same thing I told him. I don't share, if he breaks that rule, it's done. There will be nothing to talk about, nothing you can do to try and fix it, it will be over and the topic will be dropped and never revisited. We will go from there and add or changed things to suite our relationship."

"Alright," she sighed.

"Your turn," I said. "Who is coming?"

"Do you remember Kyle?"

"The guy who got Opie arrested?"

"Yeah, his kid is playing at the fundraiser tomorrow night. April asked if he could come since he has never watched the kid play. I put it to Clay and the club voted that he could come."

"That's a surprise. Being excommunicated usually means being banned forever."

"Yeah, I'm surprised to. I told April I would ask but I didn't think it would actually pass."

"I wonder how Opie feels about all this."

"No clue, maybe you can ask Jax when you see him." He tone turned sly and playful.

"Good night Gema." I said rolling my eyes again.

"See you tomorrow." She laughed.

I was getting ready for bed when my phone rang again.

"Hey, baby," Jax said when I answered. "I won't be over tonight, I've got something I need to take care of for the club."

"Ok," I said as I climbed under the covers. "I talked to your mom today."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I told her about us."

"I bet she's thrilled," he laughed. "She has been talking about us nonstop for a while now."

"She is something." I smiled. "She told me about Kyle coming tomorrow."

He sighed.

"How does Opie feel about it?"

"He is the one that moved to have it pass." He admitted.

"No way!"

"Yeah, he said it would do him good to see Kyle without the club or family, help him appreciate what he has."

"That's good, I guess. He and the family will be there then?"

"I think so, Dona said they would come for a while after I told her it wasn't a club thing."

"She is still struggling." I said sadly. "Does she know about Kyle?"

"I doubt it."

"She and Opie don't have full disclosure?"

"No, he only ever told her the basics. She didn't want to know."

"I hope they figure themselves out soon."

"Yeah, Ope can't be half in half out."

"Maybe I can try and talk to her tomorrow. I don't know what good it would do, but I can try."

"Yeah maybe." He said. "I gotta go, I'll see you at the thing tomorrow."

We said our good nights and I put my phone on my side table. I felt bad for Dona. Being an Old Lady was always hard for her. She loves Op, but she never loved the club and when he went away, she distanced herself even more. We are a family, we would have helped her keep her head above water, but she wouldn't let us. I tired talking to her a few times but she was quick to shut me down, after than I just tried to give her space, not wanting to push her further away. It will be nice to see her and the kids tomorrow.

My alarm went off the next morning and I groaned. The thought of what Gema would do to me if I was late helped me drag myself out of bed. I took a quick shower and dressed in a pair of dark shorts and a black SAMCROW tee shirt with the reaper on the back. I braided my hair and lined my eyes on black kohl before yanking on a pair of black converse and heading out the door. I didn't bother with breakfast, knowing there would be food at the fundraiser.

I pulled into the parking lot and parked next to Gema's big black SUV. I spotted her and LuAnn easily as they were setting up one of the booths.

"Morning, ladies." I said as I reached them.

"Hey, Lil!" LuAnn hugged me quickly.

"Morning Baby." Gema smiles at me.

"What do you need me to do?"

Gema put me in charge of setting up the courses for the kids games. The egg toss and the spoon race, the sack race and the water balloon toss. I was just finishing when people started to pull in.

"Hey Lily," I turned to see Jessica standing behind me.

"Hey," I smiled.

"Thanks for setting me up!"

"You are in charge of the games?"

"Yep! It's going to be fun."

"Good luck!" I said before making my way back to Gema's booth. She was handing out raffle tickets.

"Right on time!" She said to me as she nodded behind me. I turned to see a bus full of elderly people unloading. "They love to gamble, it triples our raffle sales!"

I just laughed as I stepped up between the two older women.

"How's business?" I asked LuAnn.

"Not to bad," she said as she handed a woman back her change. "There's always a spot for you if you are interested."

"I appreciate that," I laughed. "But I don't think I am the kind of talent you are looking for."

She gave me a deliberate once over and smirked.

"Beautiful smile, great legs, large rack, nice ass and gorgeous green eyes," she listed. "You'd be a sensation!"

"Don't let Jax hear you say that," Gema said from my other side. "You remember the fit he threw when you first asked her?"

"Yeah, he went nuts." LuAnn laughed.

"He'd go apocalyptic now," Gema smirked. "He doesn't share well with others."

"Oh!" LuAnn turned to beam at me. "You guys are finally together."

"Yeah." I smiled at an elderly woman who had just bought twenty tickets.

"Congrats!" She hugged me. "Welcome to the Official Old Lady club."

"Speaking of which," Gema gestured across the lawn and we all saw the guys pulling in. "It's about time! Bobby better be with them! The kids have been waiting for Elvis!"

I snickered as I watched Elvis get off his bike and fuss with his hair as he hurried over. Gema went to meet him, leading him to the children.

Jax came over and gave me a kiss before giving LuAnn one on her cheek.

"How goes it?" He asked.

"So far so good." I smiled up at him.

"I'd like to buy a ticket." Said a snide voice in front of me. I turned my attention back to the line and frowned at Deb. She waved her money in my face, a smug look on hers.

"How many?" I asked politely.

"Two," she smirked at me and I wanted to punch her in the nose again. Jax was tense beside me as I took the woman's money and handed her her tickets. She turned her nose up and stalked off.

"Bitch." Jax snapped.

"Don't worry about it," I said, mind already turning over ideas about what to do about her.

"I can't believe you dropped the charges against her."

"It was kind of a vulnerable time for me," I shrugged. "Besides, we don't usually go through the law to get even with someone."

"What are you planning?" He asked, grinning down at me.

"Not sure yet, but you should go handle that." I nodded at where I could see Opie standing, staring at a large pickup that had just parked.

"Shit," he sighed.

"Showtime," i smiled up at him. "It will be fine."

He kissed me one more time before heading over to his friend, both of them watching Kyle get out of his truck.

"Is that who I think it is?" LuAnn asked, watching the guys also.

"Yeah," Gema said as she joined us again.

"Jesus," the porn Queen shook her head as Gema crossed her arms.

"It's going to be an interesting day." I nodded, watching Jax lead Kyle off to the side. Everything seemed fine until I watched Jax grab the other man by the shirt and shove him into the wall, holding him there, face furious. I nudges Gema and nodded toward the men.

Jax glances over and saw us watching, me a little worried, Gema more than just a little pissed off. He took a step back and straightened himself out before saying one last thing then walking off. Kyle looked over at us and nodded politely but we just went back to our raffle sales, knowing better than to acknowledge him.

I watched as Opie tried to convince his daughter to try the egg toss. It broke my heart to watch him talk to the little girl who seemed so unsure of herself and him. It broke even more to watch Opie's face as he watched Kyle interacting so easily with his own kids.

"You can go take a break." Gema said as our sales finally slowed down.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go have some fun."

I gave her and LuAnn both quick hugs before heading off to find Jax. I found him and Op standing off to the side taking.

"Hey!" I said as I came up beside them.

"Hey." Jax gave me a quick kiss as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"About time." Opie said as the big man grinned at us. I just rolled my eyes with a smile as he clapped Jax on the shoulder. I watched the people enjoying the fundraiser and spotted Tara. She was alone but looked happy enough. At least until she looked over at the police barbecue. She stood stalk still and just looked at the older guy I recognized from the hospital. I nudge Jax and nodded to Tara who still looked like a frozen deer. He frowned as he watched them before Tara did an about face and escaped to her car, never once looking back.

"Seems she knows creepy hospital guy." I said.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Didn't look to happy about it."

"She almost looked scared." I glanced at him and he just nodded.

I turned back to the kids games, seeing Kyle about to do the egg toss with his kid. I snickered as the egg splatted onto his front. His young girlfriend helped him take off the hoodie and his back became visible for a moment. The dark, proud reaper was still there.

Uh-oh.

I knew it was a rule that if you were kicked out, you had to get the reaper covered.

"He still has the tat." Opie said angrily.

"Yeah," Jax's arm tighter around my waist, anger making his whole body tense.

This isn't going to end well.

I went back to my people watching, finding Deb sitting on a picnic table bench with a couple of other women. I still had to decide how to deal with her.

I left the guys, knowing they were going to fill the others in on what they saw and seek out Kyle. I joined Gema again, LuAnn had wondered off.

"Everything ok?" She asked.

"Kyle still has his ink." I said lowly, her eyes went big.

"Shit."

"We probably won't see the guys until late tonight."

"Yeah." She agreed, looking troubled.

It was almost raffle time when I finally decided what I wanted to do about Deb.

"Sack!" I called the prospect as he passed the booth.

"What up?" He asked.

"I need you to do me a really big favor." I grinned.

"Sure."

"You see that little red coupe?" I pointed at the space Deb's car was in, toward the very end of the row. I thanked the Gods that she decided to park far away, in a bid to protect her precious little car from dings.

"Yeah..."

"That's Deb'a car."

"The woman who tried to jump you."

"Yeah."

"What do you want me to do?" He asked eagerly.

"Standard stuff, key it, slash 3 tires, see if you can get the side mirror off without setting off the alarm and get some sugar from the cotton candy stand and put it in her gas tank." I said softly, grinning.

"No problem!" He was nearly bouncing.

"Wait until Gema announces the raffle so everyone will be distracted, don't get caught."

"Got it!"

He left and I watched him head casually over to the cotton candy stand.

"What was that about?" Gema asked, making me jump, i didn't know she was back from talking to Unser.

"Just a small side project."

"Who's the subject?"

"Deb." I couldn't hide my slightly evil grin.

"Getting your own back?"

"Bygones be bygones my ass." I said simply.

"That's my girl," she said proudly.


	17. Chapter 17

Hey guys! Sorry for the wait, this chapter fought me the whole way!

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I got some comments about Deb getting odd to easy but it was necessary so that this chapter could happen!

As always, let me know what you think!

DDM

Gema called for raffle time and everyone began making their way toward the stage that had been erected. I saw Sack casually make his way in the opposite direction and couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"What's that smile for?" Asked a voice to my right. I jumped in surprise. What was it with people sneaking up on me today?

"Nothing." I said, smiling as innocently as possible up at Bobby, still dressed in his Elvis get up.

"You look like you are plotting." He said playfully as we watched Jax head toward us.

"The plotting part is done, now just waiting for the execution." I said shrugging.

"Who's getting executed?" Jax asked as he reached us, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Not so much who, as what!" I said, extremely pleased.

"She was plotting." Bobby said.

"Oh boy." Jax shook his head. Just then I saw Sack rejoining the people milling around, satisfaction on his face.

"That's my boy!" I beamed when he turned to give me the thumbs up.

"What did he do?" Jax asked.

"Just played with Debs car a little." I shrugged.

"What kind of play?"

"Standard, key, slash and sugar." I snickered.

"Good for you." Bobby said, clapping me on the shoulder. I just smiled at him.

"Clay wants us at the club within the hour to take care of the Chinese thing." Jax told Bobby.

"Oh yeah?"

"Chinese thing?" I asked.

Bobby opened his mouth but Jax beat him to it.

"Otto was looking out for a guy on the inside that stashed money from the Chinese, promised us a cut if we keep them from turning him into take-out." Jax said while Bobby looked at him in surprise.

"Weird fucking guy." Bobby shook his head. "Can't keep his hand out of his pants."

"Excuse me?" I said.

"Says he's got some kind of condition, can't keep his hand off his dick." Jax said. "Do me a favor and stay clear of the club house till we get rid of him."

"Not a problem."

"Then we have to take care of the other thing."

"Kyle?" I asked, looking up at him.

"I thought he knew to stay the hell away from us." Bobby said scowling.

"He'll be at the club house later."

"What!" Bobby looked outraged.

"Because he still has it?" I asked.

"Yeah," Jax nodded.

"Still has what?" Bobby asked confused now. "What am I missing, brother?"

"His ink." Jax said coldly.

"No way." The outrage was back and doubled.

"We saw it earlier." I said softly.

"Son of a bitch!"

"I'll meet you there," Jax said to Bobby who nodded and left.

"What's going to happen to him?" I asked.

"Full disclosure?"

"We've had it for a long time, I see no real reason to change that. I want to be able to help you when you need it. I can't do that without knowing what's going on."

I looked up at him and was surprised when he leaned down and kissed me hard. He pulled back after a moment and rested his forehead against mine.

"The ink has to go," he said lowly. "He'll get a choice, fire or knife."

I gripped his Kutte and pressed myself closer, trying to shake the mental image of either option.

"You'll be ok?" I asked. "What about the Chinese?"

"That wouldn't be to hard. Just have to take Chuck where he stashed the cash, get our cut and get rid of him. Then we can deal with Kyle." He held me tightly. "He was stupid enough to try to bring us work."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope, said he wanted to bring it to the club. Another one of his get rich quick schemes."

"What an idiot." I said. "He was supposed to be here to listen to his kid play."

His phone buzzed in his back pocket and he let go with one arm to reach it.

"Looks like he has to miss out." He looked down at his phone. "I've got to go, time to grab Chucky."

"Be careful." I said.

"Always," he kissed me. "Go stay near Mom where people can see you, just in case you need an alibi when that bitch sees her car."

"I will," I laughed. "Come by tonight after it's done of you need to."

"I will."

We parted ways and I went over to where Gema was talking to a group of ladies.

"Hey baby," she greeted me with a hug. "I can't believe Clay is taking most of my man power."

I just smiled and shook my head.

"Were my eyes playing tricks on me or did I just see Jax kiss you?" Asked Carrie, one of the towns biggest gossips. She was standing beside her partner in gossip crime, Mel.

"Yeah," I smiled politely.

"It's about time!" Mel said, looking excited about having a new tidbit to spread around town.

"It is!" Gema said. "It's been a long time coming, they just finally made it official."

"Good for you!" Said Carrie.

"How did the raffle go?" I asked. "I could hardly hear the winners from the back of the crowed."

I hadn't been in the crowed at all but they didn't need to know that.

"It went well, thanks for helping me with the sales." Gema said. "We made the music program a few grand."

"That's great!" I said, genuinely pleased.

Before anyone could say anything else there was a horrible shriek from the parking lot. Looks like she found my gift. We all looked around, the ladies were confused while Gema gave me a quick smirk before we adopted the same expression.

"Did someone get hurt?" I asked as we made our way toward the angry screaming that was still going on. We reached the edge of the crowed that had gathered, finally able to see Deb standing next to her little red car.

I own Sack a kiss!

There were horrible scratches all over both sides of the car, the side mirrors were missing and 3 of the tired looked like they had gotten into a fight with Wolverine. All of the hubcaps seemed to be missing to. How he had done all that without setting off he alarm was beyond me, but I was so proud of the prospect.

"You!" Deb shrieked like a banshee again when she saw me. "You did this!"

"What are you taking about?" I asked as people turned to look at me. David pushed his way through the crowed along with a couple other deputies.

"I know you did it."

"I've been on the fairgrounds." I said, looking confused and upset.

"Then one of your lackeys did it." She lunged for me but her cousin caught her around the waist.

"That's enough!" He said as she fought against him.

"I let the charges go last time you attacked me," I said, causing people to start whispering and looking at Deb in disapproval. "I am an adult, I don't do petty things like this but if you try to attack me again, even your cousin won't be able to stop me from pressing charges."

Gema put an arm around my shoulders in a show of support and I leaned against her.

"I know it was you!" Deb continued to shout and embarrass herself in front of all of these people who had gather around.

"I remember listening to you talk to Mindy at the library," I said shaking my head sadly. "Maybe it was an angry girlfriend who finally found out you have been having fun with her man."

Let the gossips chew on that for a while.

"All right, shows over everyone." Hale shouted. "Go back and watch the band, they deserve an audience."

Everyone drifted off, whispering to each other while Deb was still shouting obscenities at me. I rolled my eyes and turned to leave with Gema.

"You are nothing but a criminal, biker whore!" She screamed and i turned on my heel and took a step toward her. Another deputy reached out and grabbed my arm.

"It's not worth it," he said and I felt Gema take my hand. "Walk away."

Deb and I glared at each other for a moment before I took a step back again. I gave Hale a nasty look as he still had a hold on her. He gave me an apologetic look but I just shook my head and walked away.

"Fucking bitch." Gema said as we walked away.

"She and I aren't done." I said as we joined the group of people waiting for the band to set up. I saw the drummer looking around and felt sad that his dad wouldn't be here to watch him like he was supposed to be.

It was getting late and the band was just finishing what should be their last song when my phone went off.

'It's done. Tell April- St Thomas'

I nudged Gema and showed her the text. She scowled but nodded and made her way toward Kyle's ex-wife. I watched as April smiled at her but it quickly vanished. She looked stricken and turned to her son who was still playing. After a moment she nodded to Gema and left quickly. Gema came back to stand beside me.

"The kids?" I asked.

"I'm taking them home." She nodded. "You can take off."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's been a long day." She sounded so tired.

"Call me if you need anything." I hugged her.

"I will," she nodded. "Take care of him, he'll need it."

"I promise."

I was home for only a couple of hours when I heard the sound of a motorcycle approaching my house. I turned off the tv and went to open the door. I saw Jax getting off his bike, looking exhausted.

"Hey." I said softly as he trudged up the front steps. He didn't say anything, just walked up and rested his forehead against my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and gently ran my fingers through his hair. We stayed like that for a few minutes before he finally pulled back. I stepped aside to let him in.

"Do you want to shower?" I asked as I closed the door.

"Why?" He asked.

"You smell like smoke." I said.

"He chose fire." He said quietly.

"Jesus." I shook my head. "You go shower. I did laundry so there should be a few clean SAMCROW shirts in my dresser."

He nodded and headed toward the bathroom.

"Will you be hungry?" I asked his retreating back.

"Yeah, food sounds great, thanks." He said over his shoulder.

I went to the kitchen and reheated a big bowl of my chicken noodle soup and got out a beer. I brought it to the living room and sat it on the table to wait. Jax joined me a little while later, looking refreshed but still tired. He sat on the floor next to my legs and leaned against me. I ran my fingers through his hair and he sighed, closing his eyes and beginning to relax. He sat forward and just about inhaled the soup before moving onto the beer.

"I never get tired of your cooking." He said after he was finished.

"Good, there will be plenty of cooking in the future."

He leaned against my legs again.

"How did the rest of today go?"

"It was a fucking shit show." He groaned.

"I thought it was supposed to be easy. Get the money, drop of the dick guy and remove Kyle's ink."

He laughed and I smiled.

"Turns out, the money Chuck had taken from the Chinese was all counterfeit. He stole their plates and figured we could use them to mint our own cash."

"Oh god." I shook my head.

"Yeah, we were getting out of there when we were surrounded by the fucking Chinese. We ended up handing Chuck over for actual cash."

"That's good at least. No one got hurt?"

"None of us," He said. "No idea what's going to happen to Chuck. Though, the van we used is beat to hell."

"At least you guys are all ok." I ran my fingers through his hair and he sighed, leaning into my touch.

"I am just ready for this day to be over." He said, eyes closed.

"How about we head to bed." I suggested and he nodded before climbing to his feet and holding out a hand to help me up. He lead me to the bedroom and we both climbed in. I moved in close to him, pressed against his side, his arm around my back.

"Night baby," He mumbled, already seeming half asleep.

"Night." I said, relaxing against him and focusing on my breathing to help me get to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Hey guys! Took a while to wrestle this chapter into something that I am reasonably happy with!

I got a couple reviews about spelling and some grammar issues. I am trying to work on them but I am currently writing this story out on my phone and autocorrect is my frenemy ! Sometimes it helps, other times it screws my over!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, the next one is on the works.

As always, let me know what you think! Your reviews feed my imagination!

DDM

The next morning I was cooking breakfast when Jax joined me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I put a plate in front of him.

"Pretty good," he said as he took a bite of eggs. "Shit was just intense last night."

"I bet." I sat down across from him.

"Shit like that doesn't happen often," he said looking at me seriously.

"I know," I said softly.

"Things have been getting intense lately, between the Irish and ATF."

"ATF?"

"Yeah, talked to Unser. Turned out creepy hospital guy is actually an ATF agent. He said the prick is just on a fact finding mission but we are keeping an eye on him. I want you to watch your back with him around."

"Ok." I agreed easily. "What's on tap for you today?"

"I have the day off so I will probably go The the club house and chill out after yesterday. Probably read more of the thing my dad wrote."

"You mentioned that, some kind of manuscript."

"Yeah, it's all over the place. I don't really know what to make of it. He says one thing then contradicts himself a few pages later. It looks like he never wanted the club to get into running guns. It was supposed to be something more, something that doesn't follow society's rules but I don't really understand a lot of it." He ran his hand through his hair.

"Any idea when he wrote it?"

"No, why?"

"I was just curious if he wrote it before..." I hesitated, not wanting to bring up old feelings.

"Before what?"

"Before your brother passed, or after." I said gently.

"What difference would that make?" He asked and I was glad to see he was curious rather that angry. He didn't like talking about what happened to his brother.

"Well, I remember JT before Thomas passed, he was so full of life and ideals. So kind and family oriented. Afterwards, he wasn't the same person. He was withdrawn, sad, introspective, very much the polar opposite to what he used to be. Finding out when he wrote it would give you an idea of where his head was when he did."

"That's true," he said, looking sad. "He just kind of faded away after."

"A loss like that can do that." I said sadly. "He withdrew from everyone, including your mom. She found her support system but he didn't seem to want one."

"Yeah, I think his heart was broken and he just couldn't come out of it." Jax said, pushing the last of his eggs around his plate. "I still miss him sometimes."

I just watched him, not saying anything. He didn't usually talk about his dad much, so when he did, I just listened.

"I want to show him things, have him meet Abel, have him know you and I got together. He always liked you."

"I liked him to. I was young when he died but I remember how kind he was."

"He liked you to. Your parents were around since the beginning. I know your dad wasn't a patched member but he was a really close friend of the club, always there if we needed him. He and your mom were good people."

"Yeah, I miss them." I said softly, thinking about the car accident that had taken them away when I was eighteen. The club had been there for me when I needed them. They helped me with all the funeral arrangements, all the financial things and supported me until I was able to get a job and learning to take care of myself. The drunk man who hit them lived through the accident, but not for very long. I remember the Nomad that I always liked, Happy, coming up to me a few weeks after the incident and telling me the man paid for his crime. He'd told me the man died, a lot. He had such an odd sense of humor but he was a good guy.

"Do you have to work today?" Jax asked, changing the subject, knowing I didn't like to talk about my loss anymore than he liked to talk about his.

"Yes but not until the afternoon."

"Great, maybe we can," He was cut off when his phone rang in the bedroom. "Be right back."

I rinsed the dishes off in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher. Jax came back into the kitchen a few minutes later, pulling his sweatshirt over his Kevlar vest, kutte in one hand.

"You have to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, Sorry." He grimaced. "Piney has an old soldier buddy that wants to buy some of the gun we still have."

"That's good," I took his kutte from him and helped him slid it on. I ran my fingers over the Reaper before he turned back to face me. "Be careful."

"You aren't mad?" He asked, looking down at me.

"Over what?"

"Me having to leave..."

"Jax," I smiled at him. "I know who you are, I know what responsibilities you have. I didn't have an issue with it before, I don't have an issue with it now."

He pulled me close and kissed me gently. When he pulled back he just stared at me, blue eyes bright and intense.

"What?" I asked, a little worried.

"I gotta go." He said softly.

"Piney's waiting." I agreed.

He still didn't move, just stood with his arms around me.

"I love you." He said finally. I felt my eyes go wide and my jaw drop. He didn't say that the casual way I am used to. He was intense and serious. Before I could say anything at all, he gave me a quick kiss and a trademark Teller smile and went toward the to. I just turned, watching him.

"I don't think I have ever left you speechless before," he grinned over his shoulder as he opened the door. "I like it."

And he was gone.

Holy shit...

I smiled bigger than I think ever have in my whole life.

It was silly, but I loved the confidence that he exuded when he said it, he wasn't self conscious or nervous. He didn't need to wait around anxiously to see if I said it back, not worried over the fact that he had left me dumbfounded, just smugly pleased with himself.

I shook my head, still smiling and went to get dressed. I spent the morning cleaning the house before I decided to call up Gemma to see if she wanted to have lunch since I didn't have to work until around one.

"Hey," she sounded distracted when she answered.

"Hey! You free for lunch?"

"Yeah...sure." She said.

"Everything ok?" I asked.

"Just a bad morning."

"Then lunch will definitely help."

"I'll meet you at the diner." She hung up before I could say anything else. I frowned at my phone, feeling concerned. I locked up and got into my car, Gemma was already sitting when I got to the diner.

"Ok," I said when I sat down. "Spill."

She sighed.

"Gemma ?"

"What can I get you ladies?" Destiny asked as she stepped up to our table.

"Nothing," Gemma said, "we actually need to go."

Both Destiny and I looked at her in surprise. I followed her lead as she stood up and left.

"Get in," She said gesturing to her SUV.

"You are freaking me out." I said when we were both in the car.

"I think I am starting to go through menopause." She said after a moment.

"Oh," I said, feeling slightly relived. "I thought maybe someone died." I said.

"Clay and I were trying to have sex this morning," she sighed again. "I couldn't do it. On top of that, a little sweet butt showed up with Juice and Clay all but freaked out."

"Oh no," I reached over and took her hand.

"I asked the kid if Clay hit that," she closed her eyes. "He just said he didn't know anything, kids a shit liar."

"They'll have to work on that if he gets patched in."

"Yeah," she gave a choked laugh. I squeezed her hand and we just sat in silence. Gemma was always so strong, a rock to anyone who needed her. It was hard to see her like this.

"What do you need from me?" I asked. "How can I help?"

"Can you run that skinny bitch over?" She shook her head.

"I'd have to borrow a car, she would probably dent mine." I said, earning a small smile.

"I appreciate that baby, but this is fine." She let go of my hand and pulled out a cigarette.

"Maybe you should head home for the day, relax a little."

"I was thinking of going to see LuAnn."

"I think that's a great idea." I agreed.

"Thanks for listening." She said as she exhaled smoke.

"How many times have you listened to me over the years? I am always here if you need me Gemma , always." I looked out the window as we sat in silence for a few more minutes. I glanced at the clock and sighed.

"I've got to go to work." I said regretfully. I didn't want to leave her. "Will you be ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'll be fine, go on ahead."

"It's only a couple of hours to do some paperwork. I'll call you when I get out. We can do an early dinner or something."

"Sounds good."

I paused as I climbed out of her car.

"I meant it Gemma ,"she turned to look at me. "You've been good to me through the years, I am always here if you need me."

"Thank you," she nodded before taking another drag on her cigarette and leaning her head back against the head rest of her seat.

I shut the door before going and getting into my own car. The library wasn't far and I made it with plenty of time to spare. I smiled at Mindy who was helping someone check out a book and moved into the back office to tackle the papers I had been pushing off.


	19. Chapter 19

Hey guys! This chapter was a lot of fun to write! I hope you all enjoy it! I think it's a little longer than what I usually put out so I hope that at least partially makes up for how long it took to get this one out to you!

As always, let me know what you think!

DDM

"Everything ok?" Mindy asked from the door a few minutes later.

"Yeah, just family drama," I said with a small smile. Before she could say anything, my cell rang, showing an unknown number. Probably Jax's prepay. "Speaking of which."

Mindy just smiled as she backed out of the office and closed the door as I answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Jax's voice said from the other end. He sounded tired and pissed off.

"What's wrong?"

"Clay got picked up," he said with a sigh.

"What for?" I asked, stunned.

"Some idiot, right wing, Rambo wannabes held up a prisoner convoy today. They killed a few people including a local cop."

"What's that have to do with Clay?"

"Guess who's guns they used."

"Oh no," I said sitting back in my chair. "Was it the people you went to see early this morning?"

"Yep," I heard him blow out a breath, probably of smoke. "Dumbasses dropped their phone at the scene, they traced a call back to the garage."

"Jesus."

"Now ATF is involved and they are watching us. We have a garage full of AKs that need to get to LeRoy and no way to move them."

"Sounds like a stressful morning." I said. "I had lunch with your mother."

"How's she doing? Haven't seen her at all today."

"She told me about the girl." I said simply. "So not great."

"Shit," he said and I could almost see him running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah." I agreed. "Why would she be dumb enough to follow him here?"

"She's here for the kid." He said.

"For Sack?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, the kid pissed Clay off before we went up to Jury. He settled his score by using the girl."

"Such a charmer," I rolled my eyes.

"Listen, I called to tell you to stay clear of the clubhouse today."

"Why?"

"Found out feds are getting a warrant to tear this place apart. We have to figure out how to get the guns off the lot before they get here. It's never pretty when this kind of shit happens, I don't want you caught in any of it."

"Ok," I agreed. "Be careful, please."

"I will," he said. "I gotta go."

"Hey Jax," I said to get his attention and make sure he didn't hang up.

"Yeah?"

"I love you too." I said then hung up since I couldn't walk away like he had earlier. I grinned at my phone, imagining the look on his face.

I finished my paperwork quickly and left, waving to Mindy as I did. I was on my way back to the house when I saw Gemma's other car parked near the pharmacy. I was going to call her anyway so I pulled into a spot near her car and went into the small store.

"Hey," I said as I stepped up next to her at the counter.

"Jesus," she clutched her bag to her chest. "Wear a bell."

"Sorry," I smiled.

"Yeah, you look it." She rolled her eyes and I followed her from the counter and down the narrow aisle.

"How was the porn queen?"

"She's good. She got her guy to prescribe me something to help my new...issue."

"That's great." I said. "Hopefully it will have you feeling like yourself again soon."

The tiny bell above the door chimes as we exited the store. Gemma put on her sunglasses and tossed her bag into her car. I grinned as I watched a group of boys on skateboards roll toward us. They were doing tricks and trying to show off for the people around them. There was a pretty, brown haired girl in a short denim skirt, not far behind them. One of the kids lost control of his board and it came rolling toward us. I was going to kick it back at him but a pair of well manicured hands snatched it up. All I heard from beside me was an angry 'Skinny assed bitch' before I saw Gemma swing the board at the girls face.

"Holy shit," I cringed as the girl dropped to the ground and started wailing. I turned wides eyes at Gemma as she dropped her weapon. She just took out a cigarette and sat on the curb.

"Rain check on dinner." She said.

"No kidding." I said as I sat down next to her. "I'll follow you to the station and hopefully we can bail you out quickly."

I glanced over at the girl who was sitting on the sidewalk sobbing and clutching her bleeding nose. People were gathers around her as we heard sirens coming closer.

A cop car pulled up and two middle aged men got out. Gemma and I stayed put while all the witnesses started talking at once. One cop helped the girl up while the other came over to us.

"Gemma," the blonde of the duo stopped in front of us.

"Hey, Chuck." Gemma said as she stubbed out her cigarette and stood up. The darker skinned cop came over to join us.

"They say you attacked that woman unprovoked." The darker man said, frowning. Gemma offered me a hand and helped me stand as well.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"We have to take you in, Gemma." The one she called Chuck said as he pulled out his cuffs.

"What's going to happen to the girl?" I asked as Gemma gave the man her back, already bring her hands together.

"A Good Samaritan is going to take her to get checked out at the hospital. She refused an ambulance."

"I'll see you at the station." I told Gemma and she just nodded as she was lead over to the cop car.

I followed a handcuffed Gemma as the dark skinned cop, whose name I couldn't remember, lead her down the station hallway. Thankfully he knew me and wasn't bothered by my shadowing. I was surprised to see the usually quiet station full of people.

I saw a woman I didn't recognize and creepy hospital guy standing with some others. A door burst open and Clay and David appeared. David blocked Clay from leaving the room as he and Gemma started shouting at each other from across the big room full of people. I stayed out of the way and stood near an empty desk, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of the screaming match that was taking place.

The shouting finished, David pushed Clay back into his room and closed the door as Gemma was dragged off to the holding cells.

"And that, is why I am single." The auburn haired woman in the ugly pants suite said to Creepy hospital guy.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's why." I said before I could stop myself.

"And you are?" She asked, turning her attention to me while a couple of the uniforms snickered.

"What are you doing here?" David asked as he came up beside me.

"What's her bail?" I asked, turning away the woman who had spoken to me.

"Not sure yet." He said.

"Deputy Hale," the woman said. "Why don't you introduce me to your friend here."

"This is Lily." He said without elaboration.

"Agent Stahl, ATF." She shook my hand. "I feel like we've met before."

"Lily, librarian." I said and shook my head. "We've never met, I'd remember."

She just stared at me hard for a moment but I looked away from her, more interested in where Gemma had gone.

"I've seen your picture." She said suddenly. I reluctantly returned my attention to her.

"That's not creepy at all." I said, frowning at her.

"You are a SAMCROW Old Lady. Just like the queen bee over there." She gestures toward the holding cell.

"No," David said before I could answer for myself.

"You sure about that?" She asked him. I rolled my eyes finding myself being discussed like I wasn't standing right there. "We've got surveillance of her going in and out of their little club house and lot constantly."

"Friend of the club." David said stubbornly.

"Actually," I said, making both law enforcement officers look at me again. "I am an Old Lady."

"Since when?" David demanded.

"A little while now."

"Whose?" Stahl asked.

"Her son." I said, gesturing toward where Gemma had disappeared. "Mind if I go see her?"

"Yeah, go ahead." David said with a sour look on his face. "You know the way."

"Offaly nice of you," Stahl said to David.

"It was nice to meet you." I said to Agent Stahl.

"I am sure we will be seeing each other soon." She said with a predatory smile.

I smiled innocently at her before heading off to find Gemma .

"She is going to be trouble," I heard Stahl say. "It's always the innocent looking ones."

I rolled my eyes and followed a path I knew lead to the holding cells. I used the play in them as a child when my father came to see Chief Unser.

"Hey," I said as I spotted Gemma, sitting on a bench and leaning against the wall.

"Hey." She said sounding miserable.

"I'll spring you as soon as I can." I said, stepping up to the bars.

"Don't bother." She said with a sigh, turning to face me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I think I need a little 'me' time."

"You can do that at my place if you want." I frowned, not happy with the idea of her spending the night in jail."I'll spend the night at Jax's house."

"No, here is fine." She sounded like she had made up her mind and I knew it was a battle I would lose if I argued with her.

"If that's what you want."

"Any idea why they have Clay?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Nope," I said while nodding my head yes. There were too many ears around to talk about family business.

"That bad?"

"I don't know," I said, nodding again.

"Shit."

"It's not pretty."

"Go on Home," she said. "I'll be fine here."

"Ok," I said reluctantly. "Tell David to call me if you change your mind."

"Thanks baby."

I went back out into the main room, passing David as I did.

"Lily," He said, making me stop and turn back to look at him. "We need to talk."

"About what?" I asked.

"You know what." He frowned at me.

"There isn't anything to talk about." I said firmly. "I made a decision."

"It's the wrong one." He snapped.

"That's your opinion."

"I don't want to see you get dragged down with them. It's one thing to be a friend of the club, it's a whole other animal to be that involved."

"They are my family, David," I said. "My involvement level hasn't changed, just my title."

"I didn't know you were that deep." He frowned.

"It's not really any of your business." I shrugged, turning to leave.

"As your friend, I am worried about you." He said quickly.

"As my friend," I paused. "I'd ask that you respect my choices."

Irritated, I walked into the main room, ignoring the ATF agents standing around and went right up the the door to Clay's interrogation room.

"Can I get a minute?" I asked the uniform at the door, I think his name is Derek. I am pretty sure I went to school with him, he was in the year ahead of me. I glanced at the pin on his shirt for confirmation and saw I was right.

"Sure." He said. "Blinds stay open."

"Deal," I patted him on the chest as he opened the door for me. Perks of growing up in a town where everyone knows everyone else, people trust each other more. "Thanks Derek."

"How is she?" Clay asked when the door was closed. I saw Stahl watching us out of the corner of my eye and turned my back to the window.

"Pissed the fuck off." I said. "And upset."

"Yeah," he sighed and ran a hand over his hair.

"She won't let me post bail. She wants to stay."

"Shit."

"You need to fix this." I said, not bothering to be gentle. I've learned over the years that the President never responded well to pussyfooting around an issue.

"Yeah, I know." He said with a scowl.

"Jax said that girl is here for Sack."

He looked slightly surprised.

"No shit." He said, shaking his head.

"Gemma said you freaked out when you saw her."

"I don't 'freak out'."

"Well, regardless of what you didn't do, you did end up basically snitching on yourself ." I said crossing my arms.

"Damn," his scowl deepened and he sat on the edge of the interrogation table, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Yeah."

"She really hit that sweet butt?"

"Broke her nose with a skateboard ." I nodded, struggling to keep the grin off my face.

"She still got it." He chuckled.

"She does." I agreed.

"Go home kid." He said. "It's been a long fucking day, and it ain't over yet."

"Alright," I went back to the door, but paused. "Everything will turn out, it always does."

"I know," he nodded and I knocked on the door to let Derek know I was done.

He closed the door behind me and I watched as a large number of cops were rushing around for a moment before turning toward the front doors.

"Seems like you get extra special treatment." Said a voice to my left. Amid all the chaos, there stood Agent Stahl.


	20. Chapter 20

Welcome back guys! I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I did writing it! I am pretty happy with the way it turned out but I am always happy to hear what you guys think!

I have gotten ten a lot of great feedback on this story and it makes me so happy! I am going to start revising and editing this story soon. There are quite a few mistakes in the earlier chapters that drive me nuts, but that's what I get for writing on my phone and posting first drafts.

As always, let me know what you guys think! Your reviews always make my day!

DDM

"I must really be special if you were lurking by the door waiting to talk to me." I said, giving her my undivided attention.

"Old Lady of an MC but on first name basis with the police and seems to get free run of a station house. Quite a walking contradiction aren't you."

"What can I say, I like to keep things interesting." I shrugged.

"They just let you do whatever you want?" She asked, eyes narrowed.

"Hardly," I said. "My Dad was good friends with Chief Unser. I've been running around this station house since I could walk."

"I hear Unser is close to your club." She said casually, fishing.

"It's a small town, everyone know everyone else." I shrugged.

"You are Jackson Teller's Old Lady is that right?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I see. Well it's been nice chatting with you." She said with a smirk. "Duty calls."

"Welcome to Charming, Agent Stahl." I said with another innocent smile. She frowned at me but I just turned and walked away, pulling out my phone as I did.

"Hey," Jax answered as I exited the building.

"I hope you sorted out your issues, your company is on its way." I warned.

"Thanks baby."

"No problem, be careful. Call me later if you can't come over."

"I will," he said. "How's mom doing? Heard she was taken in."

"Broke the nose of that girl with a skateboard."

"Damn." He laughed. "Company's here. Gotta go."

"Be careful." I said again.

"Love you," I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Love you to." I said before I heard loud shouting. I hung up quickly, not wanting to listen to that and climbed into my car. I just sat for a minute and breathed slowly. Today has been all over the place, my brain is having a hard time keeping up.

It breaks my heart to see Gemma like that. Since my mother died, Gemma has been my rock, my female role model in a world of men. She taught me to be strong and confident. I can't imagine how she feel right now, to be going through such a change and then get that girl basically thrown in her face, however unintentionally it may have been done. She is stronger then I am, that's for sure.

I shook my head and started my car, deciding to make a quick stop at the hospital before heading home.

I stepped into the cool reception area and went up to the help desk.

"Hey, Cindy," I smiled at the elderly woman who had been working behind the desk as long as I could remember. She was a good friend to the club, unfailingly friendly and loved a bit of gossip.

"Hello, dear." She smiled up at me. "What can I do for you?"

"I was hoping I could ask you a small favor."

"Of course."

"I''m not looking for a girl that may have been brought in earlier today, smashed in face, probably a broken nose. Could you point me in the direction she isn't staying?"

"Let me check," she started clicking away on her computer. "We do have someone that fills that description, but it doesn't say how she came to have that broken nose."

I smiled as she looked at me expectantly, waiting for her payment of new gossip.

"Her face had a meeting with a skateboard that was swung my a certain head Old Lady." I said, giving her what she wanted without telling her everything.

"My, my," she shook her head with a smile of her own. "Life is never boring with you lot."

"Never."

"The person you aren't looking for might be found in room 307, second floor."

"You are the best!" I turned to walk away, but she stopped me.

"I've heard something else that was very interesting recently."

"Oh?" I turned back to her.

"Yes,"she smiled. "That you and a certain blonde young man have finally gotten together?"

"That's right," I confirmed that bit of town gossip.

"That's wonderful, dear! It's been a long time coming."

"It has." I agreed.

I left Cindy to her gossip and headed to the elevator. Once on the second floor I made my way to the room the girl was in. I paused at the door and listened, hearing two voices inside. Once I recognized one of them I pushed the door open.

Sack was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed and shot to his feet when he saw me.

"L...Lily," He stuttered, surprised.

"Hey," I smiled at him.

"You were with Gemma earlier." The girl said, sitting up straighter.

"I'm Lily," I said, stepping up beside Sack.

"She's our VP's Old Lady." Sack said. "Lily, this is Cherry."

Cherry just stared at me with wide eyes.

"How's the face?" I asked.

"Sore," She said softly.

"Good," I nodded, "Should remind you to follow the rules in the future."

Sack shifted nervously beside me.

"You caused a lot of trouble today," I continued. "It was stupid of you to just show up here, unannounced, after hooking up with Clay."

"I know," she said softly, eyes down.

"Why are you here?" I asked. "I've heard it from others, but I want to hear it from you."

"I'm here," she started, continuing to look at her hands.

"Look at me." I said firmly, cutting her off.

"I'm here for him," she pointed at Sack who was still standing nervously behind me.

"Good," I nodded. "You remember that if any of the guys try to push up on you in the future."

Cherry nodded, looking down at her hands again. That wouldn't do at all. I stepped forward and reached out to grab her chin. I heard Sack make a noise behind me but he made no move to intervene. I lifted Cherry's chin and made her look at me again.

"If you cause problems for my family, you and I will go a few rounds and it won't end well for you." I said. "Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am." She said and I rolled my eye.

"You'll keep your eyes and your hands off those that don't belong to you." Thank

"I promise."

"If you are going to be an Old Lady, I expect to see this chin raised proudly." I said, giving her chin a little lift before I let go. "We Are SAMCROW, we don't cower and stare at the ground."

"I won't," she said, lifting her face to look me in the eye all on her own.

"Better," I nodded, stepping back. I turned to face Sack and he looked like he might just drop to the floor.

"Uh..." he had no idea what to say.

"Congratulations," I hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks!" He looked relieved.

"Figured since I owned you for what you did for me at the fundraiser, I could give her a little advice."

I looked back and forth between the two of them. She smiled at Sack the way I knew I smiled at Jax, so I knew they were going to be ok in the end.

"See you later." I said as I headed toward the door.

"Thanks, Lily," Sack said again and I waved over my shoulder at him before making my way back to the elevator.

Cooking always helps me relax so when I got home, I pulled out the ingredients to make homemade pasta sauce and started working on my dinner. It was late when I heard the sound of a bike pull up to my house. The front door swung open and I met Jax in the kitchen doorway with a beer.

"Thanks," He said as he leaned against the door jam and watched me finish washing dishes.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. "There is spaghetti and meat sauce in the fridge from tonight."

"Sounds great." He set about getting himself a bowl and popping it into the microwave.

"How was today?" I asked.

"Long," he groaned.

"You got the guns out?"

"Yeah," he laughed. "Had to literally hide them in shit."

"What?" I finished drying the last pot and went to sit beside him at my small table.

"We had to put them in the septic truck."

"Oh my god." I laughed. "I don't envy whoever has to go get them."

"Me neither. Not like we can do anything with them now anyway."

"Why?"

"After what happened with the idiots killing that cop, no one will touch them."

"I thought they were for Leroy."

"He won't take them. He doesn't want anything that may tie him to that fuck up."

"What are you going to do?"

"No idea, but we need to figure something out quick. The Irish are only giving us ten days max to come up with the money for the next shipment or they sell to the Russians and we lose their business."

"I'm sure you will think of something." I said, taking his now empty bowl to be washed like the other dishes. "How did the raid go?"

"We got to hang out on the ground in cuffs for a while. The clubhouse is totally trashed, the feds tore the whole place apart. They are on to how we get the guns in with the barrels so we have to get creative on how we move them from now on." He sighed.

"Did Clay get released?"

"Yeah, he is staying the night at the cabin and then going to pick Mom up in the morning."

"Good," I set the now clean bowl aside. "They need to get right with each other again."

I went to sit back down but Jax took my hand and pulled me into his lap.

"They will be ok, they have a run rule. I'm sure it was just a shock when that chick showed up."

"I bet." I said softly as I wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Hey," he lifted my chin to look me in the eye. "That's not going to happen with us. You set down what you wanted, I won't do that to you."

I leaned in and kissed him gently.

"I know." I said. "It was just so hard to see your mom like that."

"I'm sorry you had to be in the middle of their shit."

"Don't be," I shook my head. "I love your mom and she needed some female support. Being surrounded by men, we women have to look out for each other."

"I love you." He said with a smile.

Looking down at him, I came to a sudden decision and stood up. Taking his hand I pulled him to his feet.

"Show me how much." I said as I lead him down the hall to my room. His answering smile banished any lingering nerves I had.


	21. Chapter 21

Hey everyone! So sorry its been so long since the last update! life has been hectic and its only getting worse! Sorry this chapter is a little short but I wanted to get something out for New Years!

I am in the process of edititing and rewriting parts of this stroy! I hope you ans your loved ones enjoy the holiday season!

As always, let me know what you think!

DDM

When I woke the next morning I was content to just lay there and relax into the warm body behind me. The arm around my waist tightened and I couldn't help my smile.

"Morning," Jax's voice was gruff from sleep.

"Morning." I said with a yawn.

"I could stay like this forever." He mumbled into my hair. Before I could answer my stomach gave a rumble under his hand and he snickered. "But it sounds like I need to feed you."

"Do you want me to cook?" I asked.

"Nah, lets go get something. I have a meet I need to go to in the afternoon though."

I nodded and slid out of bed, picking up my night shirt from the ground I slipped it on and headed to the bathroom, hearing Jax moving around behind me. As I brushed my teeth I listened to the sound of my dresser opening and closing a knew I would need to get more SAMCROW shirts if he was going to continue stealing them all. He walked in and kissed me on the cheek as we traded places and I rolled my eyes when I saw him grab my toothbrush. He was going to need his own stuff here.

I dressed quickly in a pair of black jeans and a dark purple cold shoulder top and yanked on a pair of knee high, black, heeled boots. I enhanced my green eyes with my usual black kohl and ran a brush through my hair.

"Ready?" Jax asked as he came out of the bathroom. He was wearing his usually jeans, sneakers, tee shirt and kutte. His kevlar was draped over the chair in the corner.

"Not going to arm up?" I asked playfully.

"I think we'll be safe for breakfast." He said with a grin as we left the bedroom, heading out the front door. "I'll come back and grab the vest before my meet later."

"What are you doing?" I asked curiously.

"Have to tie up a lose end with those idiot freedom fighters." He said as he strapped his helmet into my head.

"The ones you sold to?"

"Yeah, they killed a local cop and brought a lot of heat down on us."

"How does Piney feel about that, I know one was his friend from the war."

"He knows it needs to be done and he is prepared to do what is needed."

I nodded as he started up the bike and we took off toward my favorite diner. The place wasn't really busy when we pulled up, only a couple tables were occupied. We sat down and woman with bleach blond hair stepped up to the table. She must be new, we have been coming here for years and I didn't recognize her at all.

"What can I get you?" She asked, looking only at Jax.

"Not sure," he said before looking at me. "Babe?"

"I'll have scrambled eggs and toast with sausage." I said and the woman reluctantly looked my way.

"To drink?" She asked as if I had interrupted her.

"Just water please."

She scribbled down my order before turned quickly back to Jax. I just rolled my eyes.

"I'll take the same, but with coffee." He said.

"Anything else?" She asked coyly, batting her fake eyelashes as him.

"No, I'm good." He said dismissively before reaching across the small take to take my hand.

She huffed and swished away, flicking her hair over her shoulder while I tried not to giggle.

"What time is your thing this afternoon?" I asked.

"Not sure, hasn't been set yet. Piney will call me."

"We should go see Abel today." I suggested.

"Sounds good."

We finished our breakfast and Jax's phone rang.

"Yeah," he said as he handed me the helmet and I just watched him. After a minute of listening he hung up.

"Rain check?" I asked.

"Sorry," He said with a frown. "That was Piney, his guy wants to meet in half an hour."

"Take me home." I said with a smile.

"I'll make it up to you." He said as we climbed onto the bike.

"I know." I said simply and we took off for my house.

"I'll call you later," he said as he walked back outside from grabbing his vest.

"Be careful." I said before leaning in to kiss him.

"Promise."

I watched him ride away before heading inside and starting a load of laundry. Once I was finished I decided to go see Abel by myself anyway, it had been to long since my last visit.

I pulled into St Thomas' parking lot and went up to the maternity floor. I walked passed the nurses station and straight to Abel's room. Tara was in there with a clipboard.

"How's he doing?" I asked as I stepped up beside her.

"Fine," she gave me a sideways look.

"How's his sleep apnea?"

"Better." She said in a clipped tone. I rolled my eyes and sat down in the chair.

"You look tired."

"It's been a long day," she sighed turning to face me finally. "I still have a while to go."

I glanced out the observation window and say the creepy ATF agent walk by, Tara had her back to him and didn't notice.

"Did they tell you they sent Wendy off to rehab?" She asked.

"No."

"Hopefully she sill get the help she needs, away from this place." She scowled.

"If you hate it so much, why come back?" I asked curiously.

"Needed to pack Dad's stuff up."

"You needed to abandon your life and get a job in a place you hate in order to do that? I thought Chicago was where you wanted to be."

"It's not really any of your business." She snapped.

"No it's not." I shrugged. She scowled harder at me then turned and left the room, closing the door behind her. I just sat and watched Abel for a few minutes, enjoying the peaceful space. My phone ringing caused me to jump and Abel go start fussing quietly. I reached in and held his tiny hand while I answered my phone without looking at the screen.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Hey, baby." Gemma 's voice sounded in my ear.

"Hey, did you enjoy your 'me time'?" I asked.

"I did." She said. "I needed it to get my head right."

"Feeling better?"

"I am."

"I'm glad." I said honestly.

"I talked to that little girl this morning."

"Oh?"

"She showed up when I got out."

"She did not!" I said in disbelief.

"She's got some balls." I guess she took my words to heart and wasn't going to cower and be afraid.

"What did she want?"

"To clear the air I guess. Promised she wasn't here for Clay."

"Sack." I said. "Jax told me."

"Of course he did." I could nearly hear her rolling her eyes.

"I stopped by to see her yesterday."

"Why?"

"Just to give her some friendly advice."

"Like what?"

"I told her if she was going to be one of our Old Ladies, she better walk with her chin in the air and if she ever did anything to hurt my family again, she and I would go a few rounds."

"That's my girl." She laughed. "Welcome and warn them at the same time."

"I learned from the best."

"What are you doing now?" She asked.

"Sitting with Abel."

"Where is Jax?"

"He has to take care of something with Piney."

"How are you two doing?"

"Really good." I said, smiling.

"I can hear your smile from here." She laughed.

"I am glad I decided to take your advice," I said, looking down at the tiny baby beside me. "I was afraid of the unknown but now I am happier than I can ever remember being. I feel like I am coming into myself more."

"You are," She said and I heard her take a drag from a cigarette. "You've always been confident, but you are really starting to blossom now."

"I learned how to be confident from you," I said honestly. "As much as I loved my mother, she had a submissive personality that I couldn't ever relate to. You taught me how to stand up for myself and not to take anyone's shit."

"That means a lot, baby." She said after a moment of silence. "You'll always be my daughter."

I felt tears begin to well up when she spoke. It meant more than she will ever know to have confirmation that she cares for me the same way I care for her.

"I love you, Gemma." I said, trying to keep my voice even.

"I love you to." She said.

I looked at Abel abs saw he had gone back to sleep.


	22. Life update

Hey Eveyone!

I know I have been MIA lately and I am sorry that this isn't a new chapter but I have had a lot of personal things going on. I am also working on the first draft of a novel that I want to try and get traditionally published so that has been taking up most of my creative juices! I promise once that draft is done and I set it aside to let it breath before the next round of edits, I will be back on this story! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and support, it really keeps me going, regardless what I am writing!

Again, I'm sorry this wasn't a new chapter but I just wanted to let you all know I haven't given up on this, it's just taken a back seat to my original fiction!

Love you all!

DDM


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